An Anon's Look at Dianetics

Discussion in 'Education, Research and Inside Reports' started by ElrondHubble, Feb 23, 2008.

  1. ElrondHubble Member

    An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    I've decided to dive deep into enemy territory. If I come back brainwashed, remember my sacrifice with a 21-lazah salute.

    Today at Goodwill, I purchased a publication of Dianetics. (There were three copies, the one purchased being the 1999 version, rather than the older ones.) It cost $0.89, compared to the cover price of $6.95. :lrhmoney: I figure that I might be getting my money's worth on this one at least, though considering that it's LRH, that may be an overstatement. I haven't started fully reading yet, but afterwards I'll be posting reviews of each segment of the book for all Anons to see and appreciate. (BTW, if you find $ci stuff in Goodwill, I'd rather you buy it there than from any other source; not only does the cash stay away from Miscavige's pocket, but a portion of it combats unemployment. Then again, you can also try to find downloads, but Pirate Bay does not supply everything. Either way, great justice for all!)

    The first thing that struck me about this book was the very fact that it has the volcano on the cover. An average marketing expert would probably avoud such imagery, as - to me anyways - it looks oddly sinister and has no place on the cover of a self-help novel. When this fact is coupled, however, with knowledge of OTIII and the resulting engrams of Xenu and his renegade horde, it almost makes sense. Almost. See, if L. Ron really believed in this stuff (which many believe he did later in his life), he'd probably be counting on the memory of R6 to attract people to Dianetics. I'm sure, however, that retaining memories of a volcano exploding in your face would keep you away from such imagery.

    Opening the book, I find three inserts courtesy of Bridge Publications: first is the "Dianetics Information Hotline", which can be reached at 1-800-367-8788 (Bel Airs, anyone?); next is a mail-in offer for a Tone Scale of your very own (in exchange for your address, phone number, and other related body-thetan-pwning material); and directions on ordering a $20 video elaborating on Dianetics. Well, they aren't getting any money from me, but when people are down and out - as the Dianutics/$cientology target group is - they will do anything to feel better. As such, a few inserts asking for checks or money orders don't seem so bad in comparison to the alternative. "You could also dive off a bridge or blow your brains out." Says the friendly neighborhood orientation host.

    This is the introduction to Dianetics. Labelled as "IMPORTANT NOTE", it gives a sort of hint as to the things to come.

    This may seem like a very liable bit of advice for any publication or 'study', but this is Dianetics after all, and we have to look at this with an open mind. Doign so, I realized something. L. Ron uses this section to justify his gibberish, and blames YOU for it. Crepuscule is a real word, and it does mean twilight, but I don't think the same scenario applies to situations when the author himself makes up words. :lrhtalking: "Enturbulation. Engrams. Money. I mean, Knowingness."

    And speaking of definitions, after this bit there is another small page that explains footnotes and glossaries. It is here that things get peculiar. I've read plenty of books. I've seen plenty of glossaries. Why, then, wold I need forewarning of said footnotes and a glossary for this?


    Almost every page has at least one footnote, some going up to five or more. And the stuff Hubbard has footnoted is ridiculous; while I agree that words such as 'phlebotomy' and 'parathyroid' deserve some sort of definition to the average layman, why set a space for Iowa? Yes...LRH decided to footnote IOWA.

    There are three 'books' in Dianetics, so after reading each section I'll post my own review. My guess is that although some of Hubbard's theories may be somewhat sound, for the most part it's hogwash intended to make money. Anyone else who has read Dianetics (FULLY) is free to insert their own opinions on the matter, or to help me as I take this blue pill into the rabbit hole.

    TL;DR - LRH tech is at its cheapest online or at Goodwill, the Church of $cientology is a bunch of cheap bastards who want your money and thetan in every way possible, and not even L. Ron knows what he's talking about.
  2. mewmew Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Dude go man! it will be interesting to see why this book seems to hold so much apeal for people. Also if you can upload the entire text see what everyone else says about it
  3. number 6 Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Good luck in going through that twaddle. I tried to read Mein Kampf over winter break but had to stop because Hitler's writing was awful, and his rants and raves about the Jews were barely coherent. I can imagine Dianetics will be just as bad.
  4. southernstate Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    I just tried to call this and no one answered. No voicemail or nothing.
  5. southernstate Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Also, what exactly does the footnote for Iowa say? Does it mention corn?
  6. ElrondHubble Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Well, considering the fact that this book is almost ten years old, I'd say that the number is outdated. Perhaps other less-legal Anons already shooped it out of commission. Who knows? :guyfawkes:

    As for the footnote, this is it...

    So yes, it does mention corn, albeit not directly.
  7. musketeerwang Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    The whole "misunderstoods" thing is the old carny trick psychics use as a last ditch when something they say isn't sticking. If you don't find significance in the words, there's something *you* are missing. It's *your* fault.

    I'm trying to plug my way through "Understanding the E-Meter", and it's pure bollocks - he says nothing using a lot of words, then says it again the other way around.

    The "new" words remind me of the made-up ones Blackadder teases Dr Johnson with: ... paper=1187
  8. ElrondHubble Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    We had a copy of it at my own school; I read the introduction - which explained exactly that - and started to read...before finally giving up after only a few pages. Nevertheless, I think I'll actually comprehend Dianetics because L. Ron Hubbard - while being manipulative, cruel, and an overall disgusting man - wasn't stupid. One could perhaps describe him as an 'evil genius', though 'evil' isn't really the point. His works weren't so bad; otherwise, he would've stopped writing and pursued some other "Way to Happiness", if you'll forgive the pun. I would actually like to read some of his sci-fi works, most likely "Fear" or another work that isn't proclaimed solely by Scientologists. Still, it will certainly be a trip.

    It would be a lot of work to copy down every word in here, although it would lead to a better understanding of the material...we'll see.

    According to David Miscavige, it is not YOUR fault, per se, but - get this - the typist. The person dictating each word. So if L. Ron WERE to have written each book himself, there'd be no need to reissue them...*gasp*...he DID write Dianetics himself, didn't he? Oh Lawd, is that some hypocrisy?


    I just realized something. They're trying to purge the books, right? That would immediately explain why there were three individual copies of Dianetics at that one store. I didn't see any more Scientology writings, though, so unless they're cleaning out rookie Scis as well, that's very unusual. :confused:
  9. zeppy_gorrila Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    This thread got me interested and I just had to read it.
    I have never, EVER read such a bizzare text in my life.
    Grab it for yourselves and let's rip this piece of Co$hit apart.
  10. ElrondHubble Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    If you cannot stand posts that are TL;DR, then skip to the end.


    The first thing you see when you open dianetics is a series of success stories. Obviously, John Travolta, Chick Corea, and other celebs come first, followed by a bunch of Average Joes and Joe-ettes more likely than not invented by Bridge Publications. If these are real people, though, the one that worries me the most is this one.

    After my eyes stopped burning, I leafed forward a few more pages, and came across the title page, and then the page of legal notices beyond that. Among the text was this little snippet that is pretty darn important with things to come.

    O RLY? We'll see about that. OK, we pass the dedication to Will Durant. If anyone can find info on him, that would be greatly appreciated.

    Next comes the important note copied above. Like others have said, this is purely there to make YOU feel bad for not understanding what L. Ron has written for you. He also describes what footnotes are, which still confuses me.

    The actual meat of the book doesn't start, of course, until after the table of contents, and it is here - in a section aptly titled "How to Read This Book" - where L. Ron showcases his very robust writing skill. Shallow promise after shallow promise, he offers you a journey into your own mind and the minds of others, labeling it terra incognita and promising that you will finish the book lighter and happier than you were when you began. Of course, it's not to say that he isn't persuasive; however, his cover is blown when you reach this paragraph...

    Uh, Mr. Hubbard? You phail. :lrhcries: All you could have said is, "I don't want to go into technical crap, so I'm going to say stuff in terms a kindergardner could understand." Rather, he backfires in making the very statement he wants to make by complicating things beyond reasonable comrehension. In short, he rambles when he says he won't. :lrhtalking: Continuing on, he states that you're getting the easy version, as he had to wade through waist-deep equations and theorums in order to get to Dianetics, and he's offering you the watered-down, easy to grasp version. Let's see how easy this really is to understand in the chapters to come...

    Chapter One (The Scope of Dianetics) of Book One (The Goal of Man) essentially tells the story of how man has finally achieved true enlightenment with the long sought-after Science of the Mind. In the beginning of the six-page chapter, he likens the study of psychiatry as being akin to aboriginal healing crystals, shaman incantations, have to read this for yourself.

    Sound familiar? Wait until you're an OT III.

    L. Ron describes psychiatric treatment with a brutal tenacity, describing the techniques as though a neurosurgeon were hacking into someone's brain with an ice pick. He also blames the lack of such a science of the mind for the existence of war and atomic bombs (which are really the result of memories of R6, but we'll learn that later when we've paid hundreds of thousands of dollars, amirite?). This science is - according to Hubbard - comprised of this list of attributes...

    Look at #6. LOOK AT IT! Anyone remember Jenna Elfman's famous quote about AIDS? "AIDS isn't a disease; it's a state of mind." Yeah; this is where that comes from, and every Scieno believes it. Of course, Hubbard (being the dashing, debonaire world explorer he was) decided to locate this long-lost 'Science', and discovered...dun-dun-dun-DUN-dun-DUN-DUUUUUN...bullcrap! Well, that's what he doesn't want you to think, anyway. Here's what he claims Dianetics can do.

    It fills up all the categories of the Science of the Mind and more! It slices! It dices! It juliennes! Set it and forget it! Manufactured by LRonCo!

    This sounds like a claim by the author to me. Hey; Scientology lied about something! What a concept! Also, notice that he infers to the lack of dianetics leading to war, yet says that Dianetics can have military applications. :?

    TL;DR - Lies, lies, and more lies. Lifeblood of Scientology.
  11. saerat Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    I usually dont read long posts but that was interesting. I HATE how it tries to sell itself as science ¬_¬
  12. AnonNow Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

  13. southernstate Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    I figured it wouldn't be a good number anymore. I just thought I'd give it a shot. Plus it gave the baby a chance to play with the phone and hear all the BEEP BOOP BOOP sounds.
  14. southernstate Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Oh also, I'm in love with this thread.
  15. ElrondHubble Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Well, look at the very name of Scientology. Scient = Truth, Ology = Study. Hence, as noted in ScientLULZojyuuichi, "Our religion is the study of truth!" At least, they try to pass it off as such.

    Yep; they believe disease is a state of mind, so they load you with vitamins and expensive saunas until you're ready to unleash you thetan powers on the world!
  16. southernstate Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    There actually are such things as non germ theory of disease. Just check google: ... se&spell=1

    Most of them involve ideas like the Chinese belief in elements: wood, water, metal and something else that I forget. The body having 4 humors, blood, bile, something, and something else that I forget, is also an example of this.

    Pretty much everyone agrees that these theories are stupid, too, to the point where most of us don't even really realize they exist.
  17. ElrondHubble Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    I've decided to take this one chapter at a time, as doing more than that all at once will do two things...

    • Cause me to lose track of IRL things that really matter to me, like my education. It is 2:02 as I type this. I NEED SLEEPZ.
    • Cause brains to leask out of my ears and/or thetans to attack my central nervous system.

    Again, this post will wind up being TL;DR.


    Chapter Two is entitled "The Clear." Many of you have heard this term before, and know that it applies to a Scientologist that has been able to harness all of L. Ron's basic teachings. But what exactly - in their view - does it mean to be Clear? According to this book, it means becoming an Uberman. Literally, a Clear is better than every-fricking-body else. I'll describe it in greater detail.

    FIRSTLY: A Clear is someone that is entirely free from mental ills. More specifically, it's someone tested for disease that comes up negative in all aspects. Let me rephrase that once more...tested by THEIR standards. See, since psychiatry is evil and all, they have their own methods of testing (e-meters, etc., but that isn't covered or revealed yet), and theoretically, if you know a way around the tests, you can pass while suffering from some sort of mental illness (e.g., schizophrenia). The proof that Hubbard offers that this is true goes as such: take a person who has a problem (you); test them for mental ills; test results come up positive; give them Dianetics (after they pay up); test them again; test results come up negative. Of course, there is no mention of flaws or rigging the results because DIANETICS IS FUCKING PERFECT YO.

    SECONDLY: Clears are able to do certain things that we feeble mortals cannot do, and have superior traits in three categories, which L. Ron spends the entire chapter elaborating on, and which will take up almost the entire remainder of this review: perceptics; returns; and imagination.

    Perceptics are essentially the five senses along with a few others determined by L. Ron to also be senses. He even goes so far as to rename them for Dianetics purposes...

    He begins this section by describing sight, and how everyone has different capabilities; this is ofm particular interest to me, because I myself am mildly colorblind, though not so far as to effect my welfare. He blames it on 'circuits' which negate the color before it can reach the brain. I call it bullcrap because I can still tell most shades of red from green, just not all. Then he talks of how some people like listening to violins, and others don't. I myself am a violin player, but can't you let anyone have an opinion on whetehr or not they like the sound? I guess not, according to Hubbard; he thinks the same way about smells as well, using roasting turkey as an example. Who on earth (Sorry...TEEGEEACK) thinks that turkey smells like hair oil?

    Personally, I register with the Leomard Sportsinterviews[/url:2pg1q32f] philosophy; "Everyone is different. No two people are the same." Of course, L. Ron wants everybody to be just like him...except for the fact that he took all their money.

    Regarding glasses, L. Ron makes the miraculour claim that if you go Clear, you will regain your eyesight. Of course, it doesn't mean that the eye doctor goes out of business; since the Clears aren't apparently used to better eyesight, they'll have to buy more glasses in quick succession in weaker versions to get used to it. Hmmmmmm...does this explain why there are Clears that still need glasses? Also, if you become a Clear later in life, you don't regain your eyesight completely, but enough.

    Of course, perceptive abilities are the tip of the iceberg, or shall we say, the DC-8. It's in the ability to recall that L. Ron reveals what a Clear can REALLY do. We aren't merely discussing memory, although it plays a role; LRH defines the process as returning, and gives it roots in...get this...hypnosis!

    Of course, there are
    several[/url:2pg1q32f] accounts[/url:2pg1q32f] that detail exactly how much hypnosis is used in Scientology, which is a lot. This just shows how much L. Ron is stealign his ideas from other sources and claiming it's not related. Perhaps L. Ron was reincarnated as Carlos Mencia! Wouldn't surprise me in the least.

    To summarize recalls, when asked to think of a rose, what do you think of? The image? The feel? The scent? A Clear can sense everything, as though there were a real rose in their hands. Question: How do you know that they sense all of that? You yourself can't see into their mind...oh, wait; you're Scientologists. Never mind.

    Imagination is - of course - linked to this phenomena, but Hubbard defines it into two properties. First is imagination itself, which is the ability to picture new things in your mind using memories you obtain from experience. The Clear, therefore, has a superior imagination because their perceptives and returns are superior. Then, there's creative imagination, which me try to translate this...

    Oh, oh, OOOOH. It's the ability to imagine, and THEN create. Well, that's one more breathy explanation to tack onto the list, Hubbard, mah boi. Work on it a bit moar.

    But the most important section in this chapter begins after imagination is discussed, whereupon LRH delivers the final difference between mortals and Clears; sentience. See, Clears are god-like, because they gain rationality due to the absence of mental problems that we aberees have. Here...let me show you...again...

    He goes on to compare irrational people to a calculator with a number that is always pressed down. It is here, however, that I realized that Scientology is the one TRUE religion! That's right! The one true religion! Here is the revolutionary segment!

    Deep Thought has spoken! Pan-galactic Gargleblasters for everybody!


    Never mind. If you've never read any Douglas Adams, than I suggest you do so before I start reading some of Hubbard's own Vogon poetry. Getting back on topic, L. Ron goes on to insist that man's primary being is absolutely good, and all evil is brought on by pain, and vice-versa. Remove the pain, and you remove the evil. Becoming Clear gives you the ultimate independence...which is why you devote the next billion years of your life to the Sea Org.

    TL;DR - Clears are better than we are in ways we cannot comprehend, L. Ron hubbard absolutely loves making up words, and Douglas Adams is my hero.
  18. anon11 Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    I think it's great what you're doing. :)

    I was looking at my local German bookstore to see if Dianetics was available, but to no avail. Thankfully, I can appreciate it's full stupidity right here, in this thread! And Deep Thought has spoken! :))
    What a whacktard! What a fucking whacktard!

    Thank you for doing this, I look forward to seeing more. :)

    Anonymous... sporking the bad fanfiction of Scientology since 2008.
  19. southernstate Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    So my eyesight is bad because of body thetans? It's not because of a genetic abnormality in the shape of my lense?

    Wow. I've been so lied to.

    Thank you, Dianetics, for opening my eyes. And letting me see through them without glasses.
  20. southernstate Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Food for thought: Hubbard once stated that Jesus Christ wasn't actually a god or a godlike being, he was just a regular man who was "a shade above Clear."

    Despite that, he managed to inspire and help found the most widespread religion on the face of the earth.

    Scientology has far, far fewer members, but many of its members supposedly possess ridiculous amounts of powers, far above and beyond what Jesus had. The miracles and wisdom that Jesus doled out would be parlor tricks next to what an OT 8 could do. come none of them have ever been able to make Scientology even 1/10th as successful as Christianity? In fact, how come none of them have ever tried to break away and start their own wacky cult, just like Jesus did?
  21. roadracer Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    I have a torrent that has all the books, TR's, everything. I read about 16 minutes of Dianets: MSMH and Dianetics 80-800 or something like that. This has to be the most unreadable shit ever printed. I had a headache instantly. I cant imagine having to look up the meaning of each word.
  22. number 6 Member

  23. 213 Member

  24. anony_mos Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    I like how some of his sensory terms were ones stolen from psychology, which is sooo evil.
  25. Laughing Man Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Psychiatry. Again, know the difference. Although I understand that he didn't psychology was much better.

    Kudos to being able to get through this. Not even I, The Laughing Man, can get through that junk.

    ...And I survived reading Lord of The Flies.
  26. Mug Member

  27. gcanon Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Let's be fair here. L.Ron was writing this in 1950, when use of the "ice pick lobotomy" was at its peak. Of course, as this is The Word Of L. Ron Hubbard®, it is still considered to be The Truth® by all Scientologists®, regardless of changes in practice over the last half-century.
  28. Laughing Man Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Agreed. While I still disapprove of it, psychiatry has evolved and keeps evolving (although it needs some serious shoving at times to do so), Scientology does not. In fact, it only twists further towards the enslavement of people.
  29. Gunslinger Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Actually, I think anony_mos meant to say psychology. And that Hubbard's stealing of ideas originating in psychology was evil. They weren't saying psychology was evil.

    You know the difference, right?


    Pedology is the study of children.
    Pediatric Medicine is the branch of medical science which specializes in children's health.

    Applied in this case:

    Psychology is the study of the mind.
    Psychiatric Medicine is the branch of medical science which specializes in mental health.

    The same generalizations being used in the debate on Religion keep being made in regards to Psychiatric Medicine. And I believe that by doing so, we're playing right into the Co$' hands.

    They want the general public to be just as uninformed and unsure on the definitions - so they can take advantage of that with fear mongering and lies, scaring and fooling people to turn to them instead of real Religions and real Sciences that might actually help them.

  30. anon013 Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Haha 42 is the answer to life and universe and everything!!!
  31. Gunslinger Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Sshhh - you're not supposed to tell.
  32. Monkeyman Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Thanks for posting this. A very instering read. Can't wait for the next chapters to come.
  33. Eff Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Since we've heard no further progress from ElrondHubble in over a month, I think it is safe to say that his head asplode, and therefore it is necessary for someone else to take up the torch. I give you: An Anon's Look at Dianetics, the Continuationing. In the interest of actually finishing this within a reasonable amount of time, I probably won't be as thorough (or as funny) in my summaries.


    Chapter Three is titled The Goal of Man. In this chapter, Hubbard spends an extraordinary amount of time explaining that people have always wanted to know the answer to the question What is Life, the Universe, and Everything, despite the fact that he snuck us the answer (42) in the previous chapter. He explains that the only point of life is to follow the command "Survive!" Captain Obvious of the Starship Duh to the rescue. He goes on to explain that the idea that wanting to survive is not a new idea, but the idea that man's only motivation is survival is new.

    Upon hitting an unfamiliar (read: made up) use of the word "dynamic", a footnote graciously informs us that:
    This is a wordy way of saying "It gets boring making up words all the time, so occasionally I just pick a real word, use it wrong, and decide that it means something else now."

    He then goes on to explain the concepts of pain and pleasure in a rant so agonizingly and unnecessarily long that it actually rivals the Frenchfag's "cause and effect" speech from Matrix Reloaded. Never has it taken so long to say "Pleasure means going towards immortal survival and pain means going towards death." Partway through, we are introduced to the idea of a Tone Scale where being low means that you are hurtling towards death and being high means that you are experiencing pleasure and increasing your survivability.

    Suddenly, there is a problem. Fucking a diseased hooker feels pleasurable but will kill you. So Hubbard must account for that:

    So because it's both good and bad, but bad overall, that's why we call it immoral. Mmany other societies failed hard at classifying immoral acts, and that's why all of Europe stopped washing themselves for 1500 years. (I am not making this up.)

    After a whole lot of talking about nothing at all, he gets to sort of a point by explaining that we are too complex to fit into a pain-drive theory. We are not driven by necessity and pain from external events; we are driven by nothing but the desire to survive... that is, to avoid pain and seek pleasure. But this drive comes from inside us, not from the sources of the pleasure or pain. This is an important point, because it makes the chapter longer than if he did not say it. And mercifully, it ends there.

    tl;dr - Things that are alive want to experience pleasure and avoid pain because that is how you stay alive which is the whole point, and 70 generations of Europeans smelled awful due to Rome-based butthurt.
  34. Eff Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics


    Chapter Four is titled The Four Dynamics. Hubbard kicks it off by pretending that Dianetics is a real science by talking about its "original equations", and the "computations" that yielded "good results". He says that his way of computing survival based on a single man wanting to survive worked better than others' method of computing survival based on survival of the species, or based on striving only to have sex and create offspring. He further assumed that you could compute survival based on survival of your group. He spares no amount of paper to explain to you that this is all very computational and uses equations, though he never lists them. Did I mention that you have to compute it?

    No longer does this have anything to do with the simple command "Survive!" It's now "Survive! And ensure that your symbiotes survive. And ensure that your group survives. And ensure that the group's symbiotes survive. And ensure that your species survives..." etc. To decide what the best course of action for survival is, all you have to do is calculate exactly how it impacts (past, present, and future) every gorram thing in the entire universe. And furthermore:

    For those who are still following along, there is a definite ("scientific equation, therefore!") method for determining the best course of action, and part of that method requires occasionally tossing part of the equation out the window in order to get a more rational answer.


    tl;dr - Dianetics has a formula that explains every behavior phenomenon and dictates what course of action to take in every possible situation. Simply put all the data into the formula, take a shit on it, and then decide what to do.
  35. Eff Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Chapter 5 is a very short chapter titled Summary that provides an overview of the previous 4 chapters. Moving right along...

    BOOK TWO: The Single Source of All Inorganic Mental and Organic Psychosomatic Ills

    CHAPTER ONE: The Analytical Mind and the Standard Memory Banks

    Okay, so. There are three parts to the mind: the analytic mind, the reactive mind, and the somatic mind. The analytical mind, even in an aberrant person, is a perfect computational machine that is incapable of error. The analytic mind has memory banks with infinite capacity that are responsible for the percepts, memory, and imagination that the analytic mind requires in order to operate; these memory banks also operate flawlessly regardless of aberration.

    The analytical mind is also responsible for automatically updating old conclusions based on new experiences, and also controls voluntary and involuntary physiological systems. This whole chapter was so straightforward and uncharacteristically absent of unnecessary excess that I almost forgot that it was a load of horseshit. Almost. So let's make it a two-fer:

    CHAPTER TWO: The Reactive Mind

    The reactive mind is the devil. If not for it, we would all be perfect computers who never do anything that is not 100% optimal on the road to survival and pleasure.


    The reactive mind is blamed for everything from stuttering to arthritis to high blood pressure to the common cold and much much more. Hubbard makes sure to impress upon you that this is verifiable scientific fact. For example:

    What does that mean? Well, your analytical mind has those perfect memory banks where sense data is stored. But what if you get hit by a car? Your analytical mind shuts down due to shock, so the sense data goes to the reactive mind in the meantime. This is an evolutionary trait; we would otherwise have no recollection of any events that happened while unconscious in pain or shock, and that is vitally important for some reason. Pain and painful emotion, by their very nature, are not stored in the analytical mind's memory banks.

    There is then a substantial amount of information on what happens when you hypnotize someone and give them a posthypnotic suggestion. The gist of it is that Hubbard believes that because giving someone information ("secret service agents are trying to murder you") while they are unconscious will make them act insane, all forms of insanity must be caused by the information that goes into your reactive mind while your analytic mind is on the fritz. Makes perfect sense!

    The analytical mind is able to make sense of the memories that it stores, but the reactive mind is too simple for that. It thinks in terms of full identification, so it can only set things equal to one another. Yeah, I'm just as confused as you are.

    There's an analogy to a fish that hurts its tail while swimming in brackish water and gets a "brackish = hurt tail" engram, which it then uses to try to avoid hurting its tail ever again by swimming away from brackish water. There's then some stuff about how an engram can become linked to a normal analytical mind memory if your engram starts to kick in while you are fatigued or distressed. The engram will "key-in" to what you're currently experiencing, which acts as a "lock". And I have to ask, what in the hell is the point of telling people to know the definitions of every word when you define a word like this?


    tl;dr - Stuff you probably already knew about engrams. They're recording of bad events. Our reactive mind is too stupid to make proper sense of them, so we go crazy instead.
  36. Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    But LRH, if someone's never been unconscious, then the reactive mind will be empty of engrams and unable to cause pain and insanity. Or if someone's been unconscious but there was nothing painful about it (e.g., David Miscavige drinks a whole bottle of Macallan 12 instead of just half), then shouldn't the engrams have no power?

    All will be explained in later chapters, I'm certain.
  37. Gunslinger Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Maybe someone should check on them...

    They may have gotten this far into this book and started to convulse. I know my brain has almost shut down from some of this wackiness.
  38. Eff Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    CHAPTER THREE: The Cell and the Organism

    Hubbard diverts from the usual procedure here. Ordinarily (and I mean, on a page-by-page basis) he takes pains to remind you that everything is very very certain and has been confirmed under experimental conditions in laboratories. Here, he's talking about cells, and obviously there are things that he's going to say that are demonstratably, provably wrong. So he mentions over and over that certain things which he talks about here are theories of structure here, and that they are only theories. These are the theories that he came up with while creating Dianetics, but Dianetics is still correct even if the model of the cell that he uses turns out to be wrong.

    He suggests that engrams are cellular memory. While the analytical mind and the "standard" banks are stored in the brain's frontal lobes, the reactive mind and engrams are stored at the cellular level in the rest of the body, in the nerve cells that are actually experiencing the pain. Cells are sentient, and when they get hurt they get mad at the brain for doing such a bad job of allowing them survive, and so they mutiny.

    Restimulation, in a nutshell, is when the reactive mind (cells) catches onto the fact that current sense data is dangerously close to the events of a previous engram. The engram causes a partial unconsciousness as it is restimulated, because the one thing that all engrams have in common is that the analytical mind shut down during its recording. Essentially, the cells say "Wait, didn't you fuck up and get us hurt last time this happened? Screw you, we are shutting you off and brute-forcing our way through the situation."

    Holy Kwisatz Haderach, Batman! Saying specific words or voice tones to knock someone out? Am I reading Hubbard or Frank Herbert? Check Bene Gesserit - The Voice if you didn't get the reference.

    All aberrees (non-Clears) have engrams that can be restimulated, causing them to act in a way that is out of their conscious control, including ways that are detrimental on all four dynamics. Engrams can and often are completely contrary to the obviously optimal solution for happiness. They can also be contrary to each other, which accuately explains why some people get headaches when they smell a baseball bat:

    A restimulated engram can cause either dramatization or valence. Dramatization means that you are acting out the events of the engram like a puppet. Valence refers to personality, borrowing the personality of another. Taking the battered woman engram from last chapter, the woman might take on the role of the man when reliving this engram, since he was the one who survived the ordeal unscathed. If prevented from literally acting this out, she punishes herself by slipping into the other valence (herself) and feeling hurt, fake, useless, etc. Hubbard estimates that by age 10, the average person has fifty or more valences (different personalities) across all of their engrams.

    tl;dr - Your cells are legion. They do not forgive. They do not forget. Expect them... to tell your brain to shut up when the shit hits the fan.
  39. Peregrine Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    Not sure if this has been covered yet (no time to read this whole thread atm) but it's very important to note that the TMF starts before the table of contents makes an appearance:

    "Important note: In studying Dianetics be very, very certain you never go past a word you do not fully understand.

    The only reason a person gives up a study or becomes confused or unable to learn is that he or she has gone past a word or phrase that was not understood.

    Trying to read past a misunderstood word results in mental "fogginess" and difficulty in comprehending the passages which follow. If you find yourself experiencing this, return to the last portion you understood easily, locate the misunderstood word and get it defined correctly - and then go on."

    *This is absolutely crucial for setting the stage for the hypnotic techniques used in this book and throughout scientology*. I cannot stress this enough.

    Let's unpack this sneaky little preface a bit.

    1. It makes you feel stupid and makes Hubbard look wise. Me too dumb to understand such braney things. You have an MU. The Master's Wisdom is clear. Ditto, btw, his scattering of names from philosophy throughout Dianetics to make it appear that he is actually familiar with the works of these authors. Hubbard is a Smaht Man.

    2. The reason you're feeling "fogginess" has nothing to do with misunderstood words. It has everything to do with the confusion technique used throughout dianetics. The cure? Do MU routines with your e-meter until you are not only confused but have had a deeper state of hypnotism inflicting on you by the endless repetition of words (which is, btw, another hypnotic technique).

    3. Note the implication that if you say to yourself "what a load of crap!" when reading Dianetics (and it is a load of crap on several levels) it's not because it's crap. It's because you had an MU! Go hypnotise yourself a bit more on MU training drills and then come back when you're ready to pay for your next course. The "only reason" people give up studying Dianetics is because of MUs? Um, how about they give it up because . . . it's a load of crap.

    4. The social and historical setting of when this was published is very important. The 1950s was the height of the era of Freudian "on the couch" psychoanalysis, which wasn't terribly effective but which was very very popular. Hubbard pretty much steals the entirety of his thesis in Dianetics wholesale from Freud's theory of the id, ego and superego. Just enough familiarity in there to click in neatly with what at the time was the cutting edge of treatment of mental illness, and just different enough to differentiate itself from it.

    5. *The confusion that you feel and the turgidness of Hubbards prose in this work is entirely deliberate*. Once again, cannot be stressed enough. You may not know it, but the intention is a state of hypnosis here. When you finish reading Dianetics you really do feel like taking a long shower. You may not know why, but it's designed to induce exactly this sense of uneasiness.
  40. Eff Member

    Re: An Anon's Look at Dianetics

    CHAPTER FOUR: The "Demons"

    Clears do not have mental voices. The process of recalling a piece of data and analyzing it bypasses any use of language. Being able to think without relying on a word stream of consciousness is one of the reasons that becoming Clear makes you so much more intelligent. Us detestable wogs end up with mental voices because the circuitry leading from the standard bank to the analytical mind can be corrupted by a parasitic circuit — a "demon". Hubbard claims that some of this info is based on the beliefs in Demonism that he encountered in the Pacific Islands.

    For example... while unconscious as a child, your father yells "listen to me" at your mother. Later in life, this engram is "keyed in" to a particular sensation or thought through restimulation. Eventually, this circuit becomes replaced with a hard-coded demon. When you try to think along those lines, the spoken words "Listen to me" come back instead of data. Chronic reuse of this circuit reinforces it.

    Occlusion demons also exist. Circuits can be set up to block certain words. If someone says "Never say can't" to your reactive mind, a demon circuit formed by that engram will stop you from saying the word "can't", or will cause you to use it incorrectly. "I can't see" or "I can't hear" would potentially cause vision or hearing loss, because when you try to access the sense data coming in, instead you get back the vocal phrase "I can't see." Even worse, since the phrases are stored as actual speech, it is possible for a figurative phrase to be taken literally or for a word or phrase to be taken as a homonym or similar-sounding phrase.

    Gotchaaaaa... he didn't really say that. Good thing, too; I'm pretty sure we would all have to join Scientology on principle if he did. But that is basically what he is saying. You mentally receive the actual sounds, to be interpreted exactly how it is received.

    Deleting these demons is instrumental in removing aberration.


    tl;dr - Engrams can sever a connection between the mind and the memory and replace it with a vocal phrase or "demon", which directly causes a change in mood, behavior, or health when accessed. Hearing the phrase "Don't say Candlejack" while unconscious would creat

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