Caesar's Eulogy, the Remix

Discussion in 'Translation and Text Composition Projects' started by LilDebbie, Mar 13, 2008.

  1. LilDebbie Member

    Caesar's Eulogy, the Remix

    In honor of the Ides of March, I humbly submit to Anonymous the following adaptation of the famous soliloquy for use in your protests.

    With apologies to the Bard:

    Friends, $LOCALans, Anonymous, lend me your ears
    I come to bury Scientology, not to praise Hubbard.
    The evil men do lives after them;
    The good is oft interred with their victims.
    So let it be with Miscavige. The noble Beardman
    Hath told you the RTC is litigious
    If it is so, it is a grievous fault
    And grievously shall the RTC answer it.
    Here, under leave of Beardman and the rest--
    For his words are wise, his face is beard
    So are they all, all wise and beard
    Come I to speak on Hubbard's birthday
    He was a man, faithless and criminal
    And Beardman adds litigious
    And Beardman is wise and beard
    He hath brought many lawsuits against his critics
    Whose settlements did his wallet fatten
    Did this in Hubbard seem litigious?
    When that the poor hath cried, Hubbard hath wept
    For they had no more money to give him
    And so he formed the Rehabilition Project Force
    Yet Beardman might call it chattel slavery
    And Beardman is wise and beard
    You all did see the McPherson autopsy photos
    They thrice refused her medical attention
    And once more before finally delivering her corpse to a hospital
    Yet Beardman says five years of lawsuits will change anyone's mind
    And sure he is wise and beard
    I speak not to disprove what Hubbard spoke
    I come to speak what I do know
    You all loved your families once, not without cause
    What cause compels you then to disconnect from them?
    O judgement! thou art blown about the nuclear winds
    And settle broken in the hearts of men. Did you see her?
    My heart is in that introspection rundown with Lisa
    And no E-meter will audit the engram clear.

    [$LOCALans | Rome :: Romans, London :: Londoners, you get the idea]
  2. Gigazz Member


    That was very, very nifty, LilDebbie. I'd like to see this read at future protests!

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