Customize

Further Proof Suri Cruise Gets Everything

Discussion in 'Celebrity News' started by Anonymous, Mar 17, 2011.

  1. Yeah, except he took Weil's faggotry, tossed in some Sufism, and expanded it to new levels of depravity.
  2. Anonymous Member

    oh i see. whirling dervishes? whatever. everybody is an expurt with a book to sell.
  3. The best "self help" book I ever read was 7 Years of Highly Defective People by Scott Adams.
    • Like Like x 2
  4. subgenius Member

    And Gary Null a frequent PBS thing....what's the deal with PBS and health frauds?
  5. subgenius Member

    Scott Adams is wise.
    All you need to know about human nature:

    You Are Wrong Because:

    For your convenience, I have circled the brain malfunction(s) that most closely resemble(s) the one(s) you recently made on the topic of (fill in topic):

    1. AMAZINGLY BAD ANALOGY
    Example: You can train a dog to fetch a stick. Therefore, you can train a potato to dance.

    2. FAULTY CAUSE AND EFFECT
    Example: On the basis of my observations, wearing huge pants makes you fat.

    3. I AM THE WORLD
    Example: I don’t listen to country music. Therefore, country music is not popular.

    4. IGNORING EVERYTHING SCIENCE KNOWS ABOUT THE BRAIN
    Example: People choose to be obese/gay/alcoholic because they prefer the lifestyle.

    5. THE FEW ARE THE SAME AS THE WHOLE
    Example: Some Elbonians are animal rights activists. Some Elbonians wear fur coats. Therefore, Elbonians are hypocrites.

    6. GENERALIZING FROM SELF
    Example: I’m a liar. Therefore, I don’t believe what you’re saying.

    7. ARGUMENT BY BIZARRE DEFINITION
    Example: He’s not a criminal. He just does things that are against the law.

    8. TOTAL LOGICAL DISCONNECT
    Example: I enjoy pasta because my house is made of bricks.

    9. JUDGING THINGS WITHOUT COMPARISON TO ALTERNATIVES
    Example: I don’t invest in U.S. Treasury bills. There’s too much risk.

    10. ANYTHING YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IS EASY TO DO
    ExampIe: If you have the right tools, how hard could it be to generate nuclear fission at home?

    11. IGNORANCE OF STATISTICS
    Example: I’m putting ALL of my money on the lottery this week because the jackpot is so big.

    12. IGNORING THE DOWNSIDE RISK
    Example: I know that bungee jumping could kill me, but it’s three seconds of great fun!

    13. SUBSTITUTING FAMOUS QUOTES FOR COMMON SENSE
    Example: Remember, “All things come to those who wait.” So don’t bother looking for a lob.

    14. IRRELEVANT COMPARISONS
    Example: A hundred dollars is a good price for a toaster, compared to buying a Ferrari.

    15. CIRCULAR REASONING
    Example: I’m correct because I’m smarter than you. And I must be smarter than you because I’m correct.

    16. INCOMPLETENESS AS PROOF OF DEFECT
    Example: Your theory of gravity doesn’t address the question of why there are no unicorns, so it must be wrong.

    17. IGNORING THE ADVICE OF EXPERTS WITHOUT A GOOD REASON
    Example: Sure, the experts think you shouldn’t ride a bicycle into the eye of a hurricane, but I have my own theory.

    18. FOLLOWING THE ADVICE OF KNOWN IDIOTS
    Example: Uncle Billy says pork makes you smarter. That’s good enough for me!

    19. REACHING BIZARRE CONCLUSIONS WITHOUT ANY INFORMATION
    Example: The car won’t start. I’m certain the spark plugs have been stolen by rogue clowns.

    20. FAULTY PATTERN RECOGNITION
    Example: His last six wives were murdered mysteriously. I hope to be wife number seven.

    21. FAILURE TO RECOGNIZE WHAT’S IMPORTANT
    Example: My house is on fire! Quick, call the post office and tell them to hold my mail!

    22. UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT OF SUNK COSTS
    Example: We’ve spent millions developing a water-powered pogo stick. We can’t stop investing now or it will all be wasted.

    23. OVERAPPLICATION OF OCCAM’S RAZOR (WHICH SAYS THE SIMPLEST EXPLANATION IS USUALLY RIGHT)
    Example: The simplest explanation for the moon landings is that they were hoaxes.

    24. IGNORING ALL ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE
    Example: I always get hives immediately after eating strawberries. But without a scientifically controlled experiment, it’s not reliable data. So I continue to eat strawberries every day, since I can’t tell if they cause hives.

    25. INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND THAT SOME THINGS HAVE MULTIPLE CAUSES
    Example: The Beatles were popular for one reason only: They were good singers.

    26. JUDGING THE WHOLE BY ONE OF ITS CHARACTERISTICS
    Example: The sun causes sunburns. Therefore, the planet would be better off without the sun.

    27. BLINDING FLASHES OF THE OBVIOUS
    Example: If everyone had more money, we could eliminate poverty.

    28. BLAMING THE TOOL
    Example: I bought an encyclopedia but I’m still stupid. This encyclopedia must be defective.

    29. HALLUCINATIONS OF REALITY
    Example: I got my facts from a talking tree.

    30. TAKING THINGS TO THEIR ILLOGICAL CONCLUSION
    ExampIe: If you let your barber cut your hair, the next thing you know he’ll be lopping off your limbs!

    31. FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND WHY RULES DON’T HAVE EXCEPTIONS
    Example: It should be legal to shoplift, as long as you don’t take enough to hurt the company’s earnings.

    32. PROOF BY LACK OF EVIDENCE
    Example: I’ve never seen you drunk, so you must be one of those Amish people.
    • Like Like x 5
  6. COREarg Member

    Whirling Dervishes are actually Adepts of Drillcat...EVERYONE KNOWS THAT!

    WhirlingDervishesEgypt.jpg
    This is a picture of their last meeting, while they plan to destroy our families.
  7. If everyone here weren't broke, I would advocate buying authentic Muslim garb the next time you fly (US and France only, because the faggotry seems to be limited to there). Headscarfs look pretty, and fundies are funny.
  8. Optimisticate Member

    No, it's squirmishes.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. AnonymousNow Member

    So now she will have a fucked up engram of eating 9000 tiny jelly penises.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Anonymous Member

    LOL! this thread is getting better! haha
  11. WillyWonkanon Member

    That's brilliant, subgenius.
    thanks for sharing that. lol!
  12. Anonymous Member

    A "highly competent cardiac surgeon" can still be a con artist, some of them knowingly perform unnecessary surgery to make more money. (Similar cons of course take place in all fields.)
  13. Zak McKracken Member

    If you liek Scott, you should try reading his /b/ro Doug sometime.
    Best guide books, in this universe or any other.
  14. Anonymous Member

    can you share some quotes from it, Zak?
  15. Anonymous Member

  16. Anonymous Member

    I have Don't Panic inked down the back of my triceps.

    trustory
    • Like Like x 2
  17. When I read Douglas, I have trouble breathing because I laugh so hard. I even liked the movie with Zooey Deschanel based on it.
  18. Oh, and 42. Do we know the question?
    • Like Like x 1
  19. Anonymous Member

    • The Media Pigasus Award goes to Dr. Mehmet Oz, who has done such a disservice to his TV viewers by promoting quack medical practices that he is now the first person to win a Pigasus two years in a row. Dr. Oz is a Harvard-educated cardiac physician who, through his syndicated TV show, has promoted faith healing, "energy medicine," and other quack theories that have no scientific basis. Oz has appeared on ABC News to give legitimacy to the claims of Brazilian faith healer “John of God,” who uses old carnival tricks to take money from the seriously ill. He's hosted Ayurvedic guru Yogi Cameron on his show to promote nonsense "tongue examination" as a way of diagnosing health problems. This year, he really went off the deep end. In March 2011, Dr. Oz endorsed "psychic" huckster and past Pigasus winner John Edward, who pretends to talk to dead people. Oz even suggested that bereaved families should visit psychic mediums to receive (faked) messages from their dead relatives as a form of grief counseling.
    • Like Like x 1

Share This Page

Customize Theme Colors

Close

Choose a color via Color picker or click the predefined style names!

Primary Color :

Secondary Color :
Predefined Skins