How do we hack North Korea

Discussion in 'Freedom of Expression' started by agent156, Feb 27, 2011.

  1. Anonymous Member

  2. First, it was not activists. It was the South Korean government.

    Second, here's what happens in the first few minutes of that war: Seoul: gone. This is not a U.S./Canadian border here, kiddo. We've had American soldiers hacked to little pieces by NK soldiers over an argument about a tree in the DMZ. There are enough artillery pieces preset to hit Seoul within minutes of the beginning of a war to wipe out the entire city. After that, preset tanks and armored pieces and about one million NK infantry indoctrinated to be completely loyal and better-fed than anyone else in the country come streaming across the border.

    SK and the U.S. would win, but this wouldn't be Iraq. Most of Saddam's military was fed barely enough to function and couldn't have hit an elephant at 5-feet even if their rifles hadn't been encrusted with rust, and we still had more tough battles than the U.S. military ever got credit for having to fight through.

    Millions would die, and probably in just the first few days.

    The best, fastest way to change the course for NK is to act reeeeaaaally friendly-like, let the people in power get a taste of how much money they can make through more open trade, which=more open comms, which=people start thinking, talking and then the change follows. It takes years, true, but Gadhafi is what you get when you just have a bunch of people with no idea what they want or how to get it overthrowing a repressive ruler.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. agent156 Member

    How do you bribe someone with 25 million slaves? Gadhafi/Saddam is what we go when we tried what you are suggesting.
  4. ZeroC Member

    • Like Like x 2
  5. agent156 Member

    This one! We can't leave this to governments/UN.
  6. annon21 Member

    Kim Jong-un is the next in line. Would it be worth it to try and communicate with him before he takes power? Is it even worth it for Anonymous to mess with NK right now? Honestly I think we might have a funner and easier time messing with China first. But then again what do I know.
  7. elwood Member

    Those are Sharks.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Zak McKracken Member

    Just LOL.
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  9. Zak McKracken Member

    The time to "communicate with him" from the outside, has probably already passed.
    He apparently went to a private boarding school in Switzerland. He made friends there, who had no idea who he was at the time,
    who only found out *last year* that the weird, quiet, nerdy kid wasn't actually the son of a South Korean diplomat.

    Has contact been made? Perhaps. I'd like to hope that the few years of non-brainwashing he spent in adolescence will have a major impact on his life thereafter. As for the current moment, he's safely ensconced within the tender arms of the NK military, and I doubt we'll be hearing from him again until his dad kicks the bucket.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Herro Member

    Would somebody please bring up cyber war between NK and SK so we can take this thread to its inevitable conclusion of Zerg rush jokes.
    • Winner Winner x 1
  11. Zak McKracken Member

    The good news is, China already has an Anonymous.
    The bad news is, its militantly protective of Chinese national culture.
    Ambivalent toward the government. (chaotic neutral)
    If we could find a way to bring these guys in on a joint cooperative venture, it'd be one sick party.
    If you're gonna go "messing with China", 人肉搜索 will gladly drink your delicious tears.

    Google: 'Human Flesh Search Engine'

    • Like Like x 1
  12. Clever Name Member

    Send boatloads of Femanons to hack his heart...

  13. annon21 Member

    And messing with China might also make it easier to mess with NK later on. China is one of NK's biggest allies, if not its only ally. Maybe we could work on messing with them both at the same time some how. Maybe we should have Kim Jong Il order over 9000 sunglasses from China.... Why not?

    Who is 人肉搜索? Is he one of the Anon's over there?
  14. Zak McKracken Member

    You misunderstood.
    China already has its own indigenous "Anonymous".
    Their #3 job is finding/punishing cat abusers
    Their #2 job is finding pron
    Their #1 job is defending the homeland

    google it, round-eye.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Capitalism. It's already started, with restricted tourism and free trade, and as they get more desperate for money, they have to loosen that grip. It's how you get the cell phone and computer ratio.

    A basic explanation of the formula for capitalism as the impetus for democratic revolution: In contrast to bizarre, widely-held misconceptions, uneducated minions are good for making Nikes, poorly-printed t-shirts for Walmart, cheap furniture that breaks in 6 months and... that's about it.

    As repressive regime after repressive regime has learned, if you want the big money, you need an educated, tech-savvy population. So, they educate them, and they let in the electronic gadgets (which they try to censor, restrict and control) and the people who end up with all the training and gadgetry are, by coincidence, quite young. Young people are more likely to buy-into new ideas and less likely to assume they can't change things, and there's is even some validity to the idea that certain age groups will find something to rebel against even if there is nothing. Older people have spouses and kids and careers, the safety of which will often take precedence over other principles. The young are quite likely to oppose government interference in their lives just on the principle of things, where older generations would calculate possible personal gain and feel the change would not be enough to be worth the risk.

    Also, if the country needs the outside world economically, then the outside world has leverage over the government.

    Iraq and Libya were both countries that the world had isolated for a time. Libya had only recently re-entered the fold, and still, the contact with things like satellite TV and trade (which always means communication) with neighbors who just overthrew their leaders. were there and helped to spark ideas.

    Iraq, is incomparable, and terrible. Whatever wrongs in the past 8 years, none of it can compare to the evil visited on that country for the previous 12, as the weapon of mass destruction known as "economic sanctions" strangled and destroyed the people, and all the while Saddam and both of his sons were having people killed at will and in mass. It was like the Iraqi people were being attacked from all sides, and Saddam barely had to tighten his personal belt because of corruption in the aid-for-oil program. People have to learn that economic sanctions are not diplomatic tools, but rather weapons of war.

    Now, in Iraq, I've seen what amounted to a hut that didn't even have a fourth wall, but it had a satellite dish. I have several Iraqi friends I keep in contact with on Facebook and there are a number of independent internet providers who, funny-enough, got started because there was a market for internet for U.S. troops back before regular Iraqis could have afforded it. Guess why they are protesting against Malaki now (who btw is a corrupt, worthless piece of trash who'd sell his country to the highest bidder without a thought).
  16. grebe Member

    China Anonymous, now there's a potential WMD. But lulz between the two cultures probably don't translate well, unless they're totally visual. Without shared hilarity, there won't be a shared hive mind.

    We need more cultural cross fertilization.
  17. annon21 Member

    Oh, 'I see said the blind american newfag.' I will definitely read more into the Human Flesh. It sounds like it would be a good idea for Anonymous to ask them if they needed any help. Or if they had any plans for NK. I personally would like to study into it more to help because why not. I don't know shit about this I just thought I'd help agent156 break the ice a little with some ideas.
  18. Herro Member

  19. agent156 Member

    Next I will troll my self buy asking "How do we root Cuba"
    You TL;DR that for some reason I read is just a reiteration of the hopelessly idealistic BS that created these post colonial nightmares.

    Libya isolated it self.

    And Iraq got the way it did because we thought we could slowly introduce them to more democracy through capitalism. Then we gave then 20 billion to fight Iran and Sadam fell in love with chemical weapons while we looked the other way.

    Iran got to the point of revolting to its current regime almost the same exact same fucking way.
  20. agent156 Member

    shiver, I'm go rub one out now.
  21. So you want us to do this now because you got butt-hurt I called you a noob? Sorry, not gonna do it.
  22. none given Member

    Herro, quit trying to distract us with sex.
    Also, sauce plox.
  23. Anonymous Member
  24. grebe Member

    ^cool story fer reals.
  25. Anonymous Member

    I wouldn't think so. Fuck North Korea.
  26. conatus Member

    No sauce. That's cold Herro personal reserve footage, straight from the vault.
  27. Gecko Member

    Most people in NK have TV's I believe, so that Kim can distribute his propaganda quickly. So hacking airwaves would be the best option. Doubt anyone here knows how to do that though.

    There was an interesting article about the situation in North Korea in this month's Atlantic Monthly.
  28. eddieVroom Member

    I think you'd have to send in the goodyear blimp just so they'd have a display to hack in the first place. You'll probably get moar milage airlifting in food with messages on the labels...

    edit: and TP. You'd be amazed how good-quality TP wins hearts and minds.
  29. Anonymous Member

  30. Anonymous Member

  31. underminer Member

    This just popped out of my keyboard as it's relevant to what I am writing at the mo:

    Not all societies worthy of an undermining revolution are high-tech (e.g. North Korea, Burma) but all societies that are victims of Industrial Civilization are, by definition, industrialised. To wit, a great deal of undermining is going to be aimed at and based around high-levels of technology. Some commentators will claim, and have claimed, that using technology against technology is simply playing into the hands of the system. I call bullshit. This is appropriate action. The point is, undermining is most effective when it reflects the nature of what is being undermined. A society controlled by smartphones and iPads may be vulnerable to more basic forms of attack; but without knowing how smartphones and iPads work then the effort is doomed to failure. The same can be said of a society that is dominated by digital and cable television and radio; analogue television and radio; letter-drops and billboards; orange crates and public assembly; word of mouth. The forces of domination choose whatever level of complexity and sophistication is necessary to propagate the message best. Thus, Underminers must choose the levels of complexity and sophistication in their toolkits that best serve to undermine those forces.

    Sorry if it's tl; I try to keep things as brief as I can.
  32. none given Member

    His words are wise his avatar is incomprehensible.
    Lighten up fgt.
  33. underminer Member

    I do laugh too; it's just quite a serious book. It's a tree undermining a pavement, BTW.
  34. The Wrong Guy Member

    • Like Like x 2
  35. Anonymous Member

    I'm not too comfortable with the immediate borderline antiJoo/Zionist boolshit.
  36. Haha it is not as simple =).
  37. If I had the skills to, I would just screw up Kim Jong Un's life. The man exudes greed take away his toys, take away his recreation, make his purchases delayed, screw up his personal accounts. Any takers?
  38. Anonymous Member

    Plan A is usually sweet seduction.
    Plan B is the hard way.
    Don't waste the opportunity for Plan A by going to Plan B prematurely.
  39. No.
  40. Anonymous Member

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