Krusty asks publicist to express breastmilk for her pet possum

Discussion in 'Kirstie Alley' started by Mr. Magoo, Nov 1, 2013.

  1. i like those pictures, above. :)
  2. RightOn Member

    wtf are those pieces of brown turd on Lron's cake? Clay demos?
    I hate seeing that bastard happy in any of his photos
  3. [IMG]
  4. FreakE420 Member

    They look like vienna sausages.
  5. Anonymous Member

    BTW breast milk isn't good for possums.
  6. Anonymous Member

    Dox or GTFO!
    • Like Like x 1
  7. ^As it happens, I am thee world's leading expert on Possum nutrition, and founder of the journal The Psychology of Opossums -

    (Unfortunately, our funding has fallen victim to the cuts, so the dox you seek are no longer available online. But you can take it from me that the very worst thing, especially for infant or immature opossums, is human breast milk. Celeb PR bullshit does not aid the cause of opossum wellbeing either).
    • Like Like x 4
  8. 613

    Just in case it wasn't obvious, these photos are Kirstie Alley expressing her breast milk for possums. She never asked her publicist to do anything she wouldn't do herself.
  9. RightOn Member

    blurp! there goes breakfast
  10. nevarmore Member

    Possums actually subsist better on such delicacies as horse road apples supplements, or the feces of field cows with undigested bits in them. The dung has digestive properties that aid the possums in deriving nutrition from their food. Without it as a snack , they are sickly, and don't thrive. Fed only a healthy diet such as other similar animals consume, possums don't do well... they need the poo. That's why it's so hard to foster possum babies. Who wants to collect the proper poo samples to combine with their feed? Determining the proper balance is hard. They do enjoy cat food kibble once they are adults, as long as they are free to gather their own side dish choices as supplement. (city possums like garden veggies too, especially tomatoes.) But human breast milk is not a good option. Goats milk would be a better selection, easier for babies of mammals to digest.
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  11. 659

    Kirstie is a possum shit nutrition expert. Her publicists take Relieve Me before expressing their shit for her possums.

    In this photo Kirstie is preparing special supplements for he publicist that make her milk and poo nutritious for her possums.
  12. Anonymous Member

    • Like Like x 6
  13. Anonymous Member

    Perhaps Crusty didn't know it was a possum?

    • Like Like x 4
  14. Anonymous Member

    I am so waiting for bottles of this to wash up on the shores of the local Grocery Outlet like so many other useless products before them
  15. Ogsonofgroo Member

    WTF??? Krusty makes me want to vomit at the best of times, but holy-hell, breast milk for possums? Just fucking ewwwwww *shudderz* Maybe she's just fattening them up for a good ol' Southern-style feast, because like most wild animals, cute while they're little, do not make even half decent pets later on when their wild instincts take over.

    • Like Like x 4
  16. Anonymous Member

    Guinea pigs are the same way. I believe that the word is "cacophagy", I apologize to jonny r u clear for the misspellings, but i do not want to be the type of nerd that can spell such a word correctly. I also have more important things to do in life then proper grammar.
  17. Anonymous Member

    Coprophay perhaps? It's only found in gut-fermenting plant eaters. It is a way of getting the right bacteria to break down plant material in the gut. Possums are carnivores.
  18. Anonymous Member

    Ahhh, that sounds correct. However, one of the posters here mentioned possums eating cow dung. This implies that they need the herbivore stomach bacteria. Guinea pig poo would be safer to handle, and easier to get a hold of, then cow dung. Something for people who are hand raising baby possums to consider.
    • Dislike Dislike x 1
  19. Friday, June 17, 2011

    The Truth About Baby Opossums and Human Breast Milk

    This is not Kirstie Alley
    I, like most people, am always on the lookout for opossum news. And yes, I have written about them before. But today I found this gem:

    Kirstie gives possum her publicist's breast milk

    Associated Press
    Nov. 2, 2004 02:10 PM

    NEW YORK - Publicists are expected to do anything a star tells them to do -- but does that include breast-feeding a possum?

    It does if Kirstie Alley's your boss. Vanity Fair says Alley once brought her pet possum to an event and when it started squeaking because it was hungry, Alley asked her publicist, "Say, aren't you nursing a baby right now?"

    Seeing the possum's teeth, the publicist refused to breast feed it, but she did express her breast milk into a bottle, which Alley fed to her pet.

    End quote.

    My, what big teeth you have!
    This brings up many questions, a lot of which I admit to being completely unqualified to answer. But as a Los Angeles resident, a past foster mom to dozens of baby opossums, and the acquaintance of someone who did once work for Ms. Alley, I feel that I can answer some of them. And so, as a public service, I offer my take on this story.

    Question #1: Did this REALLY happen?

    I have no idea. Honestly, it sounds phony as hell to me. But Kirstie Alley is a bit eccentric, and she does keep a lot of animals in her house, so I guess anything is possible.

    Question #2: Aren't they called opossums, not possums?

    Correct. Saying "possum" is like calling a mosquito a "skeeter". And using it in an article is called bad journalism.

    Question #3: Could an opossum drink human breast milk safely?

    I'm going to go with "probably" on this one, because I believe a definitive study is yet to be done. Of course opossum milk is the best thing for baby opossums, but I can't see any reason why human milk would harm them short term. A much better choice would have been baby opossum formula though. And yes, there is such a thing!

    Question #4: Actually, I was wondering if it would be safe for the human.

    We are super cute and rabies-free!
    Oh! Well, again I'm going with "probably", even if she had been foolish enough to try to clamp the joey to her nipple. Opossums do have a mouth full of sharp teeth but they don't suckle the way a human infant does. In the wild they actually swallow the very long nipples of their mothers and stay clamped there until they are old enough to move around on their own. In captivity this means that they must either be tube fed, or, when they are old enough they will lap from a spoon or dish. A note of caution here: tube feeding babies is for trained wildlife professionals only! The tube must be carefully inserted into a very tiny stomach (avoiding the lungs) and a very small dose of milk must be administered with a great deal of precision. Don't try it at home!

    Question #5: Don't opossums carry rabies and other nasty things? Why would Kirsty Alley have an animal like that out in public?

    Opossums are wild animals. They should not be pets. And they are capable of contracting rabies, but at a much lower rate than most other animals. This probably has to do with the fact that they are marsupials, and as such have a lower body temperature than other North American mammals. They are simply not very hospitable hosts to most common diseases. That said, the best place for an opossum is in your yard, not your house. They are excellent mousers, ratters, slug and snail eaters, and all-around do-gooders. As to why Ms. Alley had one, I won't even hazard a guess.

    For more opossum facts, check out The Opossum Society.
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