New E-Meter Rules

Discussion in 'News and Current Events' started by Anonymous, Nov 25, 2013.

  1. tinfoilhatter Member

    I hope no one uses the parts to build a dildo....
  2. White Tara Global Moderator

    :p Oh hell yes, praise xenu let it be so!
  3. tinfoilhatter Member

    I have this horribly perverted idea of creating/patenting a "sybian-e-meter" but instead of thetans or engrams, it would measure orgasm. I would just love to see Co$ reaction to that.
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  4. tinfoilhatter Member

    Oh, and imagine the poons that could be made...
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  5. tinfoilhatter Member

    I can see it now: "sec-check-gang bang" with a musical chairs scene, then "look who's cumming now" featuring really fat chicks that talk like krsity alley. The gay porn, lots and lots of gay porn with midgets and tom cruise look alikes.
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  6. sybian meter.jpg
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  7. The Wrong Guy Member

    Hey, you guys, the new Scientology E-meter is a hit! | The Underground Bunker

    Oh, you naysayers. Sure, you made fun of Scientology’s new E-meters, the ones that were made years ago and then gathered dust in a warehouse. The gleaming machines that David Miscavige expected every Scientologist to buy at $5,000 each (and a second one as a backup). The machines that still, 60 years after Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard first introduced them to the organization, remain extremely simplistic contraptions that measure fluctuations in skin galvanism. Or, if you’re a Scientologist, they read your mind! You cannot defeat them! They can see into your soul!


    Anyway, the first reviews are in, and we are happy to announce that the Mark Ultra VIII E-meter is blowing expectations out of the water. How do we know? Because Bridge Publications tells us so!

    Here’s an e-mail that Bridge Publications superstar Patrick Howson sent out to church members who may still be trying to decide whether to spring for one of these babies or pay for the last of those chemo treatments. Or grandma’s rent. Or junior’s college tuition.

    Continued here:
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  8. Xenu Is Lord Member

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  9. Pretty sure that's what that meter is.

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  10. Confirmation the Church of Scientology can and will confiscate the Mark Ultra VIII E-Meter that one has bought and paid for. From Tony Ortega:
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  11. DeathHamster Member

    At least they refunded the money, but I wonder what will happen when someone says no? I have the feeling it will get ugly. I also wonder what paperwork was signed, if any.
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  12. The standard paperwork for purchase of a Mark Ultra VIII E-Meter is set forth in the following post:

    I can't know for sure if Lee signed such paperwork, but I would be shocked if he had not.
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  13. DeathHamster Member

    I'm thinking of what paperwork was signed when he gave it back. They would want him to sign something saying that he'd received the refund, that they were quits and he'd never heard of Scientology before. Well, maybe not all of that. Scientology being Scientology, there was probably only one copy which they kept.
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  14. wolfbane Member

    I happened to find the previous versions of this stuff (emeter contract and covenant agreement) while digging around for other stuff. Although I haven't compared things closely for changes, a quick skim through struck me as the old vs. new being somewhat comparable - not radically changed, just tweaked and expanded upon.


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  15. DeathHamster Member

    Calendar note: Sometime in the next few weeks, the first EasyBake meters will start bricking themselves when they don't get the Scientologist-in-good-standing "upgrade" from the mothership.

    /popcorn. $5k "EasyBrick" meters, heh.
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  16. DeathHamster Member

    And now it's on the calendar:

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  17. BigBeard Member

    I would suggest anyone with 'Stress Test' tables in their neck of the woods print out a copy of the purchase contract and circle paragraphs 1, 2, 6a, & 6d with a red marker. Their own contract gives you the ammo to get any 'Stress Test' table shut down as a scam.

    The lawyer types should take a look at it too. I'm really interested in whether demanding the return of something costing as much as this thing does, with not mention of a refund, for losing certification or "good standing" is even legal???

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  18. That is not correct. As referred to above, Purchase Agreement and Covenant of Religious Use, paragraph 6(f) concerning what happens if the purchaser is forced to return the E-Meter to CSI, provides:
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  19. BigBeard Member

    Oooops! Missed that. I wonder if the deduction for "ordinary wear and tear" will be? 99% maybe?

  20. Two Scientology Mark Ultra VIII E-meters for price of one!

    [Cue the theme from Mission Impossible.]


    * * * * * BEGIN QUOTATION * * * * *

    2 New Scientology E-Meters / Mark VIII / Never used - $5000 (Los Angeles)

    Buy both for the price of one.

    This will remain confidential. We have inside assistance to transfer ownership and nothing will get disclosed to anyone.

    We have 4 sets of Basics for $150 / set
    We have ALL ACC's - never opened for $3,000
    Red Vol's - $300
    Green Vol's - $300
    Blue Vol's - free if you buy red and green
    SH Briefing Course - $200
    KTL - $25
    Tech Dictionaries - $12 /each
    Standard hand lotion - $10 / bottle
    Bronze Bust of LRH - $500
    Photos of LRH framed - $100 /each
    Lots more - Buy it all for $10,000

    Serious inquiries only.

    Start a Mission or an ORG!

    * * * * * END QUOTATION * * * * *
  21. DeathHamster Member

    And so it begins...

    Such a bargoon for two non-functional e-meter paperweights!

    The timing is right: Someone bought their obligatory two Mark 8 Easybakes a year ago, blew or were declared since then, and the meters turned into Easybricks when they didn't get their yearly "update". Ha!

    Since CoS has a list of all the meters' burned-in serial numbers, and who's supposed to own them, good luck getting them to unlock the meters even with "inside assistance".

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  22. DeathHamster Member

    Hmm. If I was running OSA, all e-meter transfer transactions would be checked to see if both parties were in good standing. Any gray market transfers with "inside assistance" would set off alarm bells with a smoking trail back to the staff member who did it unless they covered their tracks well.

    The Ethics police are going to be busy!
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  23. BigBeard Member

    I'm wonder if components on those antique circuit boards, that sat in a warehouse all those years, "let the smoke out"* and stopped working?? Then the owner was told it'd be another 'arm & leg' to get it fixed, so he/she is trying to dump them on someone else. Just a thought.


    *When I was learning electronics, one of my profs explained all electronic components are made from compressed smoke. If you let the smoke out, they stop working.
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  24. DeathHamster Member

    While the meters could have used a batch of defective Chinese capacitors that are starting to rot, some of the boards have been in use for years, hidden inside old meter cases at Flag.

    I think that real time(bomb) clock is more likely just after the first year date. Maybe some "inside assistance" can patch the DB to keep it running, but how long until OSA figures out what was done? Since the person behind the Craigslist sale is probably going to keep as secret as possible, good luck on getting a refund if the meters remain locked.

    How many years more does CoS have? Within a year of the CoS update server going offline, all those meters will be paperweights unless someone hacks the code to disable that feature.
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  25. Quentinanon Member

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