Scientology's exponential grownth!

Discussion in 'News and Current Events' started by Anonymous, Mar 3, 2012.

  1. Anonymous Member

    I am endlessly amused by the Scientology corporation claiming outrageous numbers of clients in almost any news report about it. They seem to be claiming that they are growing by 50% every 2 years. So if they maintain this growth rate here is what to expect in the coming years:

    2010: 8 million
    2011: 10 million
    2012: 12 million


    2013: 15 million
    2014: 18 million
    2015: 22 million
    2016: 27 million
    2017: 33 million
    2018: 40 million
    2019: 50 million
    2020: 60 million
    2021: 0

    In 2021 the corporation is found guilty of crimes dating back to 1950s and is finally shut down, its executives put in prison for life, and its assets seized by the courts and distributed back to its victims.
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Anonymous Member

    Fuck 2021. By then the planet will have entered a spiral of chaos, and early victims will be the cult orgs, stripped of their fittings and metals, busts of Hubbard melted down and sold as scrap metal, with books used as fuel to boil water for coffee and DVD sets used to scare away scavenging birds and other vermin.

    Nobody will remember/care what LRH had to sell, his sci-fi crap didn't even predict the internet, unlucky for him.

    The body of David Miscavige is found in 2014 among the many dead aboard the Freewinds vessel off the coast of Bonaire, as severe metal fatigue causes the ship to sink without warning. Tom Cruise leads a handful of Sci mourners through Clearwater streets lined with Anonymous as the last of his cult is photographed and ridiculed and Fort Harrison and the SuperPower building are reclaimed by the IRS.
    • Like Like x 2
  3. DeathHamster Member

    Occasionally their claims are so out of touch with reality and their previous claims, that they have to roll them back.
    ^^ That's from a 1970 copy of Final Blackout.

    In 2008, they were claiming 10 million, and getting ready to jump to 12 million. Even the apologists weren't buying that, and the Heber shore story about past members and copies of Dianetics doesn't disguise the obvious: They make shit up.
    • Like Like x 4
  4. xenubarb Member

    In 1997, I remember it was "8 million." And it stayed there for a few years, which is funny when you hear the same number touted year after year. Then they seem to have wavered between 8 and 10 million iirc, totally skipping 9 mil in the process.
  5. Xenu Is Lord Member

    Brilliant find
  6. DeathHamster Member

    That had to be written by Hubbard or a staff ass-kisser who had to get Hubbard's approval.

    Comparing him to H. G. Wells and Jules Verne! *snicker* I could spend a week compiling a list of more influential and better regarded authors, and I still wouldn't have them all.
    • Like Like x 3
  7. Django Member

    Something I always try to do: Whenever I see a "news" report parroting any of these ridiculous numbers, 8 million members, 10 million, whatever, I always make a point of calling the "journalist" out on it, in comments or email. "Did you actually research that number or just repeating what some flack told you...?", yada yada.

    Does it help? No clue here. But it don't take long, so why not....
    • Like Like x 4
  8. Good for you! You betcha it helps and I'm going to do the same. A simple phone call can lead to some amazing results. ( I'm thinking of a cheesy YHRI video shown in a school which led to discussions within the education layers. A year later we're contacted by an education officer who states that no more of that will be allowed in any of the schools within their jurisdiction. Another region cleared from future cult activity.)

    Thank you Anonymous. You help people.
    • Like Like x 3
  9. adhocrat Member

    Re: exponential growth. This chart does not qualify as exponential, but orders of magnitude work for our needs.

    People who have been inoculated against the cult:
    2008 >9000
    2009 >90,000
    2010 >900,000
    2011 >9,000,000
    2012 >90,000,000
    2013 >900,000,000
    2014 >9,000,000,000

    2015 and beyond
    continue maintenance programs
    EDIT: fifm and for you too
    2nd edit: The Dyslexic Mathematician
    • Like Like x 2
  10. Anonymous Member

    Anonymous' math lesson:

    >9000: Over 9000
    <9000: Under 9000
  11. Anonymous Member

    Anonymous' math lesson:

    >9000: Over 9000
    <9000: Under 9000
  12. From lronhubbard dot org
  13. DeathHamster Member

    I like to do that too, when possible. Any comment entry that requires a Facebook id is a write-off.

    Worst: "Scientology has 8 million members"
    Worse: "Scientology, which claims have 8 million members"
    Bad: "Scientology claims to have 8 million members, but according to survey results..."
    Good: "Scientology, with less than 50,000 members in America according to survey results..."
    • Like Like x 3
  14. CarterUSP Member

    Funny. In the same sense that if I go out to buy some milk, my driving touches the lives of hundreds or thousands of people.
    • Like Like x 2
  15. Better:Scientology claims to have 8 million members. However, they also claim to have super powers.
    • Like Like x 3
  16. DeathHamster Member

    We've got people who drive like that around here too.
    • Like Like x 2

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