Sea Arrrgh: Show yer colors! Ahoy mateys, I be the dread pirate Nukebeard, and I'm hear to give ye a bit of advice on makin' sure you scurvy dogs show yer colors. "But Cap'n Nukebeard, I don't have any sufficiently piratey gear!" Fear not me lads, here's how ye can solve that dilemma. In fact, I be suggestin' that EVERY anonymous be puttin' this to good use. First, ye start with a newspaper. Ye fold it in half, like so Then, ye fold the corners inta' the middle like so By this point, it should look somethin' like this Movin' on, ye fold the front part of the bottom up and flip it over ta do the back the same Finally, it be lookin' something like this. Ye can then open it up and put it on yer head, or on other body parts if ye be kinky that way.* Now ye got yerself a mighty fine pirate hat. Get to plunderin', boozin', wenchin', and usin' excessive apostrophes. *Nukebeard accepts no responsibility for any papercuts sustained if ye be kinky that way.