The Tony Ortega Sunday Funnies thread

Discussion in 'Media' started by The Wrong Guy, Dec 16, 2012.

  1. The Wrong Guy Member

    This thread is for those Sunday mornings when Tony Ortega writes about new Scientology developments that don't fit in with existing threads.

    Today on Facebook, Tony posted:

    It's time for Sunday Funnies, and we have another fun collection of Scientology mailers for you this week. Have you booked your New Year's Eve party yet? Because the church wants you to party hard to welcome in 2013 on the big night -- December 28. Huh, December 28? What could David Miscavige be thinking?

    Sunday Funnies: Scientology Sets Its Worldwide New Year’s Party! « The Underground Bunker

    New Year’s Eve is one of the biggest days in the Scientology calendar. The church really pulls out the stops with a big party, and then urges members — and their wallets — to attend. What fun!
    • Like Like x 3
    • Winner Winner x 2
  2. Anonymous Member

    When I was a wee boy, growing up on what is now L. Ron Hubbard Way in Hollywood, I attended on such news years eve event around age 10, circa 1981. One thing I remember was right inside the front doors of the the org was refreshments. This included 2 kegs of beer. As the events were empty even back in the day, the only ones that were getting beer were young kids. They were obviously put up to it by the older kids. It was a constant stream (pun intended) of kids as young as 7 filling up big gulp cups. So most of the beer the cult bought that year went directly to the children of their followers. Praise Xenu.
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  3. BlooAnon Member

  4. The Wrong Guy Member

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  5. jensting Member

    I was going to try to make up a funny reply, but I just can't sit in the comfort of the home of part of my family I'm visiting, having lazed for more than a week, resting after sales shopping, mentally preparing for a new year's party and make fun of clams. They're too sad and pathetic. Especially the Damnation Navy slaves who have to take the internet printouts to David Miscavige.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. RightOn Member

    can someone who posts over on T0ny O's alert him to the screen shots of the 2012 New Years party with the Narcocon logos on two screens? I think that is a juicy tidbit
    • Agree Agree x 1
  7. Anonymous Member

    Oh sure, get some other Anon to brave the extreme failtard cancer of the scientology watchers community over there cuz you won't touch it. Gee thanks! ;)
  8. RightOn Member

    yeah I know. But I don't post over there. But there are plenty (already name fagged and such or just dont' care) who do.
  9. jensting Member

  10. The Wrong Guy Member

    This morning, Tony Ortega crawled out from under the cats and posted this on Facebook:

    Once again our tipsters have come through, and we have a swell set of Sunday Funnies for you today, including an update on Scientology's effort to get the Ron Encyclopedia in every library on earth. Clearing the planet is upon us!

    Sunday Funnies: Scientology Finds a Better Use for ‘Dianetics’!

    We’re kicking things off with some news from Taiwan, where David Miscavige’s church has been making a major push in recent months.

    We’ve seen the boasting about a new Chinese-language translation of Scientology’s essential texts (“the Basics”), but are these books really flying off the shelves?

    When you put out materials with the forest-killing fury of Scientology’s high-tech monster printing facilities, what happens when you find yourself with more product than customers?

    Count on Scientology to come up with a clever solution.

    Honestly, when we saw this “picture of the day” from Publishers Weekly, we had to do a double-take. A pyramid of Dianetics? Why didn’t we think of that!


    There's lots more, and open comments, at
  11. Anonymous Member

    a pyramid... most appropriate
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  12. Anonymous Member

    If you read the bit about getting dianetics into libraries, see the list on the side, the UK has not managed to get any, but it has become part of asia?????? The power of scn to move countries around the globe!
  13. Anonymous Member

    COS has nowhere else to go but to reach it's tentacles into countries half way around the globe where people don't know their scam yet.
    Very dangerous and very hard to control with country officials being bought off left and right.
  14. Sonichu Moderator

    That's nothing. A pyramid built out of that? Now I want to see a world record made of Hogwarts built out of Harry Potter Books.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  15. Customers were seen fighting each other to get hold of one of esteemed Erlon's mighty books, but with combination of 8C and ancient chinese martial art of Bu'Shit they succeeded in keeping them just long enough to create this awesome work of art.
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  16. Anonymous Member

    So much easier to build with them when no one is actually buying them.
  17. Anonymous Member

    Ann Arnow looking well-fed.
  18. Anonymous Member

    Finally a good use of Dianetics. They are like bricks after all.
  19. Anonymous Member

    Once Scientology is taken down, they can be used to build homes for those who have none.
  20. RightOn Member

    AND feminine!
    • Funny Funny x 2
  21. The Wrong Guy Member

    Tony posted this on Facebook:

    We're putting up our Sunday Funnies now that it's just hit midnight in the east -- we couldn't wait to say something about the Tampa Bay Times series that has only added to Scientology's woes during this incredible month. Dig in!

    Scientology Getting It From All Sides: The Tampa Bay Times Looks at 2010 FBI Investigation

    The Tampa Bay Times has published the first half of a two-part series on what happened to the 2010 FBI investigation into Scientology.

    We wrote our own story about that in March 2012. We found that despite talking to many ex-church members who alleged human trafficking abuses, the FBI lost steam and its investigation resulted in no charges being filed. (More recently, we broke the news that the Department of Homeland Security took up where the FBI left off, but also seems to be having issues with its investigation.)

    The Times also put together this great 19-minute video about Scientology’s bizarre office-prison for executives, called “The Hole,” and it features interviews with former church spokesman Mike Rinder and former Sea Org worker John Brousseau.

    There's more, and open comments, at
    • Like Like x 1
  22. The Wrong Guy Member

    An hour ago, Tony posted this on Facebook:

    BONUS FRIDAY POST: This crazy week for Scientology is finishing in wacky style. We have a hilarious Taiwanese animation about Larry Wright's book, an update from Oklahoma, a creepy OSA email, and a response to the latest by Mark Oppenheimer.

    Scientology’s Worst Week Ever Finishes In Style

    The article and open comments are here:
    • Winner Winner x 1
  23. DeathHamster Member

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  24. The Wrong Guy Member

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  25. The Wrong Guy Member

    It may not be Sunday, but Tony has posted this on Facebook:

    We couldn't let an anniversary pass unnoticed. In 1986, David Miscavige announced to an audience of Scientologists at the Hollywood Palladium that L. Ron Hubbard had decided to leave his body and pursue research elsewhere in the galaxy on this day, 27 years ago. Way to go, Commodore!

    L. Ron Hubbard: Still Surfing the Galaxy in 2013

    Note: We’re posting the same item we published a year ago as an annual tribute to an amazing event. Hip, hip, hooray.

    Twenty-seven years ago today, L. Ron Hubbard decided to leave his body after using it for 74 years.

    A young David Miscavige, a Sea Org member who behind the scenes had been clearing the way to become Hubbard’s successor as leader of the Scientology movement, announced Hubbard’s death to his followers at the Palladium in Los Angeles. It is still a dramatic moment.

    “Approximately two weeks ago, he completed all of his researches he had set out to do,” Miscavige says, and you can hear the audience react with admiration and applause, apparently not realizing what’s coming.

    More at
    • Funny Funny x 1
  26. The Wrong Guy Member

    Tony wrote this on Facebook this morning:

    Time for another round of Sunday Funnies, and this week, Scientology has sent out the usual round of fliers and emails begging for cash. The anti-psychiatry flavor is especially strong this week, and we really enjoyed the call for bloggers to shill for L. Ron Hubbard's fiction!

    Sunday Funnies: Africa is Done!

    This week, there are so many fun things to spend money on. A table at a CCHR awards banquet? A campaign of terror against psychiatry? Or more books for libraries around the world? Get that checkbook out and let’s start saving the world!
  27. RightOn Member

    Thank God Africa is done, they can really use the help.
    Why send food,water or clothing? Send them fucking books that nobody can understand, not even in English
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  28. Anonymous Member

    Apparently, African nations are also badly in need of American military advisors.
    At least Hubbard's books can be burned, and so have some use.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  29. Anonymous Member

    I wonder how L Ron books burn in kenaf stoves.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  30. Anonymous Member

    Founder of CCHR is an SP

    Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth it’s a cure.(Thomas Szasz)

    Petition to release all the RPFers who are guilty of masturbation, and refund for all scnists for paying all the ethics handling because of it.
  31. The Wrong Guy Member

    Here's Tony's Facebook post this morning:

    SUPER SUNDAY FUNNIES: We'll be live-blogging the big game today, waiting to see if Scientology really does air an ad during it. Also, we have a jam-packed collection of funnies this week, including some wacky new videos. Join us this afternoon over some guacamole dip and brewskis!

    Super Sunday Funnies: Live-Blogging Scientology’s Super Bowl Ad!

    Two weeks ago, Scientology came through on its promise to air its “Knowledge” ad during the AFC Championship — at least in some cities. We saw it here in New York, and it turned out to be a 30-second ad which is also on the web in a 1-minute version.

    Will the ad also air today during the Super Bowl? We’ll be watching here at the Bunker, and we’d love to hear if you spot the ad in your town as well.

    In today’s special SUPER SUNDAY edition of Sunday Funnies, we’ll take a quick look at both ads the church has been running lately, and then we have a jam-packed collection of other wacky items for you.

    First, we’ll share with you this Nashville flier that a tipster passed on to us, which promises that the ad will be seen in that city.


    Continued with open comments at
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  32. RightOn Member

    "watch the game on the big screen in the chapel"
    well at least the chapel is finally getting some use
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  33. another123 Member

    EHow: NFL Super Bowl Trademark Regulations
    more @ link
    • Like Like x 1
  34. Sonichu Moderator

    I suspect this is going the route of the Rose Bowl ad from 2 years ago. Knowing how expensive Super Bowl ads are, they are probably going to be broadcast as a name. Remember back then when they said the commercial would air on a commercial free telecast? Yeah that proved to be a crock of shit.
  35. Sonichu Moderator

    And I just saw it. It was exactly the Rose Bowl all over again. Just a big lens flair-y picture of Scientology, and some slogan like, "Discover yourself."

    No stories published, no success, no mention of visiting one of the 8000 orgs on the planet.

    And the placement was horrible. Just after the Second half wound down, and right before the half time report. Who watches that anyways?
    • Agree Agree x 1
  36. The Wrong Guy Member

    From Business Insider on Twitter:

    BI: Advertising@BI_Advertising
    Need your opinions on this:

    Church Of Scientology Super Bowl Ad

    By Jim Edwards

    The Church of Scientology — which has been repeatedly accused of essentially being a cult — ran an ad in several major metropolitan markets including Los Angeles and New York during the Super Bowl on Sunday.

    As such, most of the nation thinks Scientology just bought a Super Bowl ad.

    You can find details about where the ad ran here. We've got the spot below:

    Continued with open comments at
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  37. The Wrong Guy Member

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  38. The Wrong Guy Member

    Church of Scientology runs oddly placed 60-second commercial during Super Bowl | Mail Online

    By Damian Ghigliotty

    The commercial first ran as a shorter 30-second version before the full version appeared online and then during Sunday’s big game, as The Underground Bunker originally reported.

    The organization paid about $8 million to air its commercial during the big game, which is is the largest one-day televised event in terms of ad spending.

    Full article with open comments at
  39. The Wrong Guy Member

    Super Bowl: Scientology Commercial Airs During Halftime (Video) - The Hollywood Reporter

    The ad sparked a slew of comments on Twitter from those in Hollywood.

    "Ahahaha! That Scientology commercial was hysterical!" singer Natalie Maines tweeted.

    Added Colin Quinn: "That scientology commercial actually looked pretty interesting. Might be worth checking into at some point. (promoted)."

    The full article, with open comments, is at
    • Like Like x 1
  40. The Wrong Guy Member

    This article has been updated and given a new title.

    Church of Scientology pays $8 million to run 60-second commercial during Super Bowl drawing mockery from viewers

    The reaction on Twitter and other social media sites was one of mockery, with several jabs from people in the video game industry.

    'If your church has an ad during the Super Bowl it stops becoming a religion and starts becoming a punch line' Kevin Dent, chief operating officer of the mobile video game network P4RC wrote on Twitter after the spot ran.

    'Hey America, if The Church of Scientology has enough cash to advertise during the Super Bowl, maybe it shouldn't be tax exempt,' editor Scott Lowe wrote on the site.
    • Winner Winner x 2
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    • Funny Funny x 1

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