The Tony Ortega Sunday Funnies thread

Discussion in 'Media' started by The Wrong Guy, Dec 16, 2012.

  1. UKJacket-e1385857284509.jpg
    ^^^^^^Check this out!!! Fully exteriorized Scientologist John Allender poses in his new jacket after moving up in status before heading off to join the enormous crowd of headless Scientologists @ the next Golden Age of Tech II event. Wow.......

    How to become a humanitarian, LRH style: Send money to Scientology for this absurdly overpriced self-proclaiming jacket. How humane can a being get?

    My favorite Scientology interview........A Scientology Christmas Story!

    Here's a nice video of the great humanitarian Mr. Allender (in far less stylish outerwear) exhibiting OTVIII Super=Powahz on his way to going exterior while simultaneously celebrating the Christmas Season.

    L. Ron Hubbard's 'Tech' in action, so theta, thx, Ron!
    'Scientology works and it helps people.'
    • Like Like x 1
  2. RightOn Member

  3. RightOn Member

    This vid combined with the Squirrel Busters vid would make a dandy advertisement for OTVIII's! :p
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Gawd, Scientologists are the least fun humans on planet earth.
    • Like Like x 2
  5. DeathHamster Member

    That HAPI git seems like his eyebrows keep rising and his eyeballs keep dropping.
    I wonder if he's a closet Juggalo, 'cause he's definitely down with the clown.
    (Yes, shooped, but not by much.)
    • Like Like x 2
  6. I thought of stoned birthday dog.
    • Like Like x 2
  7. RightOn Member

    I doubt the Amish are a laugh riot either :p
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Don't Amish young men get to go on a cocaine-fueled rampage before they decide if they want to commit? That sounds marginally more fun than auditing, no?
    • Like Like x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  9. normal teen behavior, and being dutch I can understand some of the dutch-german speak, wich is funny to me

    • Like Like x 2
  10. This is enlightening . . .
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Yes its called rumspringa.

    I learnt this from a delightful reality show called "Amish in the City" It was 6 episodes of ground breaking TV. I really thought at that time that the networks were all out of ideas but then all the eating shows started
    • Like Like x 2
  12. Yikes. I haven't had a television in 9 years. Whenever I start to miss it, someone tells me something like this. Again: yikes.
    • Like Like x 3
  13. I grew up where their buggys would block traffic on sundays.

    I never heard of rumspringa until recently. Too bad. Some of those boys were cute. I did have my virginity taken by a lapsed Mennonite, is that close enough?
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Its OK I guess. In a perfect world its the captain of the football team on prom night.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Hey, in our defense it was perfectly awful, we got blood all over some relative's bed and I stepped on his retainer and broke it when I jumped out of bed and got dressed quickly after I discovered the bed wasn't his but some member of his immediate family's.

    I suppose for me it was as perfect as it was gonna get.:rolleyes:
    • Like Like x 2
  16. :D

    Brilliant . Escaping serial killers, awkward and messy sex. Done it all you have. You must write a book
    • Like Like x 2
  17. snippy Member

    Does anyone know the address of this Taiwanese Ideal Org? Tony says it's in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. I couldn't find it, but want to get a google view of it.
  18. 824

    I could only get this to work on bing maps:
    216 Furen Rd, Ling Ya District, Kaohsiung-Hsien 80288, TW
  19. What goes..............Clop, Clop..........Clop,Clop........Bang,Bang........Clop, Clop........?

    An Amish Drive-By shooting.............
    • Like Like x 2
  20. Thanks. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had not somehow mistaken naked lunch for a instruction manual early on. Sure of death by thirty, I kind of spent my first 40 years throwing myself at risky, yet thrilling situations with a lot of physical activity. Some of those chickens are currently coming home to roost in the form of old injuries, strained family ties, and a 'career' that will surely cripple me if I stay in it, but what can you do but try to consciously be your best? I sit about more these days and try to take care of the folks around me better than I used to.;)

    I think I might have been richer had I stayed in college, but I really can't imagine doing anything different. Especially the sex and drugs and rock and roll part of it all. I just am happy that cults were never my thing, although I find them a fascinating subject.
    • Like Like x 1
  21. Anonymous Member

    The google view is at 2009, a former hotel vacant for a decade.
  22. Anonymous Member

    The amish go to the Dairy Queen in their buggies.

    Sea Org can't afford Dairy Queen.
  23. The Wrong Guy Member

    Sunday Funnies: Scientology celebrates the holidays! | The Underground Bunker

    By Tony Ortega

    While Boing Boing recently went bananas over a single piece of Scientology mail (which itself consisted of only a single line of writing), our loyal readers here at the Underground Bunker know that week in and week out, we bring you a mother lode of wacky Scientology mailers that we call Sunday Funnies.

    And this week, we have quite a haul. From San Diego to Scotland, we have quite a collection of notices put out by various Scientology organizations as they do their best to convince member to sign up for courses or make donations.

    As usual, we look forward to your interpretations and close readings of these nutty fliers.

    Let’s start in England where folks are thrilled now that the Golden Age of Tech Phase II has been released!

    Continued here:
    • Like Like x 1
  24. Damn, I didn't know Officer Booker from 21 Jump Street was a Scientologist. Or an 'artist.'
    'Hold up, let me put on my clean pair of I'm An Artist jeans and light an I'm An Artist cig before you take the photo.'
    • Like Like x 2
  25. muldrake Member

    Seriously? "Abstract emotionalism?" WTF kind of genre is that? This boy needs smacked upside the head.
  26. Maybe he should apply for the Camelot Castle Hotel's Artist in Residence program. He's basically Ted without the butterflies.
  27. muldrake Member

    Scientology: making the absolutely talentless think they're artists since the 50s.

    Seriously, look at that dude in front of that horrible shit. He's like a baby that just crapped on the floor and is proudly standing in front of his own turds, like it was an achievement.
    • Like Like x 2
  28. DeathHamster Member

    "Your art is .. interesting .. but I asked you to paint the garage. Get to it."
    • Like Like x 2
  29. Her dentures are too well maintained to be in the Sea Org


    Attached Files:

  30. Anonymous Member

    I thought it was Jenna Miscavige.
  31. RightOn Member

    well either Greico jumped on the Scilon wagon, or someone convinced him that he would prosper from this gig and to have it in scilon land.
    He looks terrible BTW.
    Kinda druggy looking, but I don't know
  32. I wonder what they think 'insouciant' means. Unflappable?
  33. muldrake Member

    Apparently, they think you can make a good ad just by putting that word next to a kind of cute chick.
  34. I think they did a thesaurus on something like 'unflappable', and didn't understand that this particular synonym carries a connotation of indifference, not just "remaining calm." They're not so good at nuances.
  35. DeathHamster Member

    Maybe she was just a hired actor? "I get paid? Then I'm insouciant."
  36. Anonymous Member


    The 'originality' is astonishing!

    • Like Like x 1
  37. The Wrong Guy Member

    EXCLUSIVE: Roslyn Cohn’s one-woman show skewering Scientology — complete!

    By Tony Ortega

    The Underground Bunker is thrilled to have the chance to premiere the video of Roslyn Cohn’s recent one-time-only, one-woman performance, “DiffiCULT to Leave.”

    From 1985 to 2008, Roz was a member of the Church of Scientology, and like many others she left the church during a period that’s seen a lot of longtime members break away. Some people who leave never speak up, wary of Scientology’s legendary reputation for retaliation. Others have dared to speak up, particularly in the last few years. But Roz did something unique: she turned her Scientology story into a musical revue!

    This show grew out of an acting workshop that produced a poor-quality video several months ago. We never posted that video because we knew that Roz wanted to polish the show and present it at a quality venue with professional recording equipment.

    On November 25, she put on her show at Sterling’s Upstairs at the Federal in North Hollywood. And now, she’s letting the Bunker debut the video version. Set aside some time and let Roz take you on her wacky adventure through the bizarre world of L. Ron Hubbard, the e-meter, and the Celebrity Centre!

    Continued with open comments at
    • Like Like x 1
  38. RightOn Member

    gotta love when people just up and decide they are artists and come out with such dribble. Paint dribbles that is
    So "a portion of all proceeds is going to benefit "disaster victims" world wide"?
    Is someone going to give them a jingle and ask exactly what that means and where the money is going?
    And Greico needs to be tweeted that he is being used. Unless of course he has picked up the cans. And I don't mean paint cans.
  39. RightOn Member

    was curios so I snooped.
    Grieco owed $44,000 in back taxes in an article from 2011 and he had a nose job which is why his nose looks so pinched and has a problem with anorexia.
    If you go to his "official" website, there are tweets by him which literally consist of his mainly saying
    "Early morning run" like every day from last November and one that says "Orgasm one" and Orgasm two" whatever the hell that is.
    Looks pretty dismal.
    Yeah he is prime for Scientology picking!
    • Like Like x 3

Share This Page

Customize Theme Colors


Choose a color via Color picker or click the predefined style names!

Primary Color :

Secondary Color :
Predefined Skins