The Tony Ortega Sunday Funnies thread

Discussion in 'Media' started by The Wrong Guy, Dec 16, 2012.

  1. Benefits disaster victims should be read: funds Volunteer Ministers to go poke them and give them useless pamphlets.
  2. The Wrong Guy Member

    It may be Wednesday, but this thread seemed as good a place as any to add Tony's latest article:

    Happy Birthday, Church of Scientology!

    Sixty years ago on this date in Camden, New Jersey, the first “Church of Scientology” corporation came into existence with the signing of a document by six individuals, including L. Ron Hubbard and his son Nibs (L. Ron Hubbard Jr.).

    In fact, three entities were born on that day: the Church of American Science, the Church of Scientology, and the Church of Spiritual Engineering. But you know L. Ron Hubbard — he was a marketer, if nothing else.


    The “Founding Church” in Washington DC was created on July 4, 1955. But to this day, Scientology itself — and the media — dates the origin of the “Church of Scientology” to February 1954 in Los Angeles.

    It’s true that the Church of Scientology of California (CSC) was for many years considered “the mother church.” And we assume there will be some hoopla in a couple of months when that date comes around again. But CSC is as dead as the Camden entities — Scientology went through a complex reorganization in the early 1980s that gave it a completely different corporate structure. CSC continued to exist on paper, but after paying nearly $9 million to finish a 26-year-old legal judgment in 2002, CSC was dissolved (we’ve seen the papers).

    In February, you’ll no doubt see Scientology and the media write some stories about the church turning 60 years old. But we know that today is the real date.

    And so here’s to you, Church of Scientology — happy diamond anniversary!

    Here's the most popular comment:

    Adam Smith

    In honor of Scientology's birthday (and because they've been receiving so much physical universe pain lately), I thought I'd give them a touch assist.

    Feel my finger:

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  3. RightOn Member

    ah yes, Dec 18th. Happy Failday Sucktology!
  4. DeathHamster Member

    It's a Jersey Thing!
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  5. Anonymous Member

    Grumpy Cat birthday.png
  6. RightOn Member

    It's a Jersey Shore Thing :D
    shoops needed
  7. The Wrong Guy Member

    Sunday Funnies: Scientology sends us a letter! | The Underground Bunker

    On Sundays, we like to reveal to you the various things our tipsters have forwarded to us during the week — mailers and fliers that Scientology sends out to its members as the call for donations goes ever onwards.

    This week, the world of Scientology is preparing for one its biggest days on the calendar. New Year’s Eve is a major landmark for the church, because, well, who knows. It just is. So make plans to get on down to your local org for some late night partying and wallet loosening.

    Let’s start with the biggest change for the church and its New Year’s Eve plans. For the first time ever, the main party will be not in Los Angeles but in Clearwater, Florida. In yet another sign that things are shifting to Florida at the expense of Scientology’s other major hubs in England and California, the main event will be happening on December 27 at that big tent near the Super Power Building which has seen so many other big celebrations in recent weeks.


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  8. The Wrong Guy Member

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  9. The Wrong Guy Member

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  10. The Wrong Guy Member

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  11. Anonymous Member

    Seems as though someone has taken the trusting Bunkerites for a ride. One Monkeyknickers posted there as a person caring for a niece whose mother was in the sea org. The well meaning Bunkerites helped her out and now have found they were scammed. If more anons posted there I feel this wouldn't have happened. Too many newbie critics, ripe for the picking. Hard lesson to learn.
  12. Anonymous Member

    NoU. Too much useless faggotry and offtopic bullshit does not end well. The lesson to be learned here is simple: STAY ON TARGET.
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  13. Anonymous Member

    Unbunch there Paco, I was just showing a little empathy, it didn't mean I was trying to get anons to post over there or anything. I was just pointing out that anons are better at ferreting out bullshit. . No mention of anything that would take anyone off target. Remove your blinders and unbunch your boxers and calm the fuck down.
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  14. Anonymous Member

    So now it's our job to ferret out bullshit in the Scientology Watcher lulzcow arena? Gee, I thought it was dismantling the church in it's current form.
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  15. Random guy Member

    Not necessarily. Monkeknickers was good, he/she had me for a while.
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  16. Anonymous Member

    Did you even read my post? Evidently not. There is nothing I wrote that even remotely suggests anything that you allude to. There is a line dear, one between what we do here and the real world. If you have gotten to the point that one innocuous post leads you to cross that line perhaps it would be more productive to step away for a bit. How you jumped from what I said" gee that is too bad" to "omg everyone leave here and go post there" suggests that you have indeed crossed that line.
  17. Anonymous Member

    I did. It comes off as some stupid retard who thinks we should give a fuck that bunch of lulzcows were stupid enough to get scammed. And now you're sounding like butthurt retard because no fucks were given. Lurk moar, WWP is not a hugbox.
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  18. Anonymous Member

    Fwiw: Leonard Tilse richelieu jr
    2 hours ago
    Like many here, I was worried about her, after her post early on the 21st. I went to the hospital in mid-afternoon, but they didn't have her listed. (Under the name I knew her by).
    In the evening, there was a text sent to another person, which was alarming and shared. I texted the catfish to find out if it was true. In the early morning of the 22nd, I received a confirming text, which asked me to tell the people in the bunker as supposedly she could not bear to do it.

    I felt awful. I had felt really bad and upset since the first text. I spent a lot of time crying between the first text and the one directly to me.

    It was sunday morning and I tried to figure out a way to break the news. By the time I had worked it out, Tony's sunday funnies were up.
    The news was absolutely devastating to me. I knew that once it was posted it would leave many grief stricken and heartbroken. I felt I couldn't do that to the bunker just as a post under "sunday funnies". I care about all you folks.

    So I called Tony to ask him for advice. I woke him up. I filled him in on what was going on. He spotted it almost immediately as a catfish scenario. I did not have a clue up to that point. I could not really grasp that someone would fabricate such a tragic scenario. I didn't want it to be true. And I didn't want to know she was a liar, but her being a liar was by far the better scenario.

    He asked me not to post until somethings could be verified. I agreed to that.
    As some have suspected it was going to be a tragic message: "It's true. I fell and my girls are dead."
    So that was the reason for radio silence. And then it was Christmas Eve, then Christmas. I didn't think it was appropriate to ruin Christmas for everybody. So, today was the day to reveal the "Catfish."
    Edit: I just want to say that Kitz was courageous and expressed some of her doubts to me the day before. Although I did not believe her then, it laid a foundation that supported me taking seriously Tony's opinion that it could be a catfish operation. Without her, I might have gone ahead and posted. And I would truly regret that. Thank you Kitz.
  19. She scammed at least two of them IRL. The only reason it went so far in the first place is because she had actual face time with some of the Portland folks on multiple occasions and seemed legit. It was not just a spontaneous internet outpouring, but the result of a long, cold-hearted game on her part. One also has to take into account the stupidity of disqus, it was easy for her to get away with contradictions because of fifteenhundred plus comments on each thread. Anons would have sorted her here fast partly because of the forum setup; her story would have collapsed in no time if there had been a dedicated thread in a chat area.

    I thought she was amusing but too much drama. When she dropped off the radar I knew the game was up.

    Also KGP(?)in Portland has been scammy there too. I don't blame the bunker types for being generous, especially as they helped BFG and his family, but they need to vet their donees a bit better.
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  20. The Wrong Guy Member

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  21. muldrake Member


    Seen in any river.
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  22. The Wrong Guy Member

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  25. The Wrong Guy Member

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  26. The Wrong Guy Member

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  27. WillyWong.jpg

    Sad News:
    Due to the rapid planetary crumbling of everything Scientology,
    we cannot afford to fly in our special guest speaker, Mr. Willy Wong of AOLA.

    Wonderful News:
    Despite the fact that his plane is currently disabled, Willy's brother and decorated pilot, Sea-Org Captain Sum Ting Wong is available along with his co-pilots, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk and Bang Ding Ow.

    Please send donations for Captain Sum Ting Wong and crew's cab fare to our vacant Houston mission.
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  28. Anonymous Member

    Ho Lee Fuk!

    The guy actually exists! And Willy is a very busy $cientologist!

    Willy Wong in Scientology's Published Service Completion Lists
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  29. BlooAnon Member

    Wow, there were a lot of news stories that I missed this past year. Glad I can finally catch up on some of the smaller stories.
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  30. The Wrong Guy Member

    Gary Weber: Another former Scientology official talks about women forced to have abortions

    Gary Weber first went public about his past as a member of Scientology’s Guardian’s Office seven or eight years ago at Arnie Lerma’s site. It’s an excellent read, and we recommend that you go over there for the full account from Gary about his tenure as a Scientologist, a member of the Sea Org, and an operative in Scientology’s original spy corps, the GO.

    He’s now agreed to a video interview with Karen de la Carriere, and we’re happy to premiere the first episode today.

    We also talked to him last night by telephone, and he told us about what he did as a Guardian’s Office member, circa 1979: “I would go into the Org and get these folders of the parishioners, and brought them to the GO, where they were putting together dead-agent packs for anyone who might turn on them.”

    Yes, another account from someone in a position to know that Scientology takes the secrets members give up during counseling sessions so they can be used against them later if they dare to leave or criticize the church.


    Now, on to our regularly scheduled Sunday Funnies! And speaking of the Office of Special Affairs, we were practically knocked on our keister when we saw this flier, sent in by one of our tipsters. We’re used to seeing Scientology’s appeals to join staff, but OSA? Wow. We sense a whiff of desperation.


    The full article is here:
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  31. DeathHamster Member

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  32. The Wrong Guy Member

    Sunday Funnies: For the second year in a row, Scientology will have an ad in the Super Bowl

    On the first day of 2012, a woman named Debbie Cook who had been a somewhat legendary official in the Church of Scientology rocked the church with a lengthy e-mail that went out to thousands of her fellow church members.

    One of the accusations she made in that e-mail (which the church sued her over) was that Scientology’s leader David Miscavige was sitting on more than a billion dollars in cash that had been raised by the International Association of Scientologists — money that was supposed to be used for promoting the church. Specifically, Cook complained that you never saw the kind of high-profile advertising that Scientology had been known for decades earlier.

    Readers of this blog know that Cook’s e-mail had many repercussions, and it is still leading some longtime members to question their faith in the church. But one of the most interesting reactions to it seemed to be a much more concerted effort by Miscavige to spend money on advertising.

    Scientology spending on ads reached huge proportions later that year, and continues today. Web advertising is ubiquitous, but Scientology also began spending big money on network TV ads, which eventually resulted in the biggest splash ever — an ad during last year’s Super Bowl.

    Before the game arrived, we found messages to Scientologists telling them that it was coming. But when we checked websites that track Super Bowl ad buying, we couldn’t see Scientology listed. (The same is true this year.)

    What Scientology did was rather clever — rather than spend millions for a national spot during the game, they bought local time in several big markets around the country. An expert told us Scientology probably paid less than a million dollars for that stunt, even if the Daily Mail and others kept repeating the notion that they had spent between $4 and $8 million for a 60-second spot. (It was actually only a 30-second version.)

    Now, they’re at it again. At Scientology’s IAS Gala in November, Miscavige revealed their slick new ad, “Spiritual Technology.” We posted video of that gala on January 7th, and within a few days, the ad showed up during a playoff football game. We also heard about it showing up at other times during prime time.

    Now, we’ve been sent this flier by one of our tipsters, which indicates that the ad will continue to be shown at prominent times, and will appear during the Super Bowl on February 2.

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  33. [IMG]


    Priced at


    From singer Isaac Hayes personal items, Proposal to Isaac Hayes seeking his opinion on the location in New York of The Church of Scientology Mission of Harlem. Notebook containing 23 pages of photographs and statistics. Very unique piece of Scientology history.Also includes his business cards and music CD.
    From the late Isaac Hayes Estate.
  34. Rod Keller Member

    It must have fallen through. The Harlem org is at 2423 Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. Blvd. and the Community Center is at 220 E. 125th St.. They are both better locations than that brownstone.
  35. The Wrong Guy Member

    The Gary Weber story, part 2

    Another interesting episode from Karen de la Carriere, J. Swift, and Angry Gay Pope.
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  36. The Wrong Guy Member

    Sunday Funnies: CCHR’s annual gala — time, place, form, and event! | The Underground Bunker

    We have another fun collection of Scientology fliers for you this week. As usual, we’re getting a glimpse into the church’s unrelenting fundraising gimmicks.

    But there’s also some news here. One of our tipsters managed to snag for us a CCHR flier about this year’s gala. The Citizens Commission on Human Rights is one of Scientology’s oldest front groups, and it’s engaged in a comical attack on the psychiatric profession. If you were with us last year, you may remember that we managed to obtain some CCHR fliers, but for some reason they never stated the time and place for the annual gala.

    This time, for some reason CCHR was less shy.

    As you can see in this mailer, CCHR’s annual gala will take place at the Westin Bonaventure Hotel in Los Angeles on February 1.

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  37. The Wrong Guy Member

    Scientology’s continuing plans for its Super Bowl ad, and more Sunday Funnies | The Underground Bunker

    Last week, we had a breaking story on Sunday and our weekly Funnies got shorted. So this week we’re making up for it with a cornucopia of goodness.

    Our loyal tipsters have forwarded us many examples of Scientology’s wacky fundraising fliers. But first, we have an e-mail that went out this week about the church’s latest TV ad, “Spiritual Technology,” which ran during the Super Bowl. (Once again, Scientology saved money by running the ad only in certain cities rather than nationally.)

    The church will continue running it during the Sochi Winter Olympics, and during the Academy Awards.

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  38. The Wrong Guy Member

    Sunday Funnies: Scientology is having a grand re-opening at Big Blue this Saturday! | The Underground Bunker

    We told you it was coming, and yesterday, Scientology’s “Advanced Org” in Copenhagen went “ideal.” (Photo of DM courtesy of Black Rob at WWP.) We’re not really sure what that entailed — maybe a new coat of paint and some fancy TV monitors, perhaps? But we imagine it was quite a party as the Ideal Org program now also is being extended to the small number of places where advanced courses are delivered.

    And now we have an e-mail which was leaked to us that suggests another advanced org — in Los Angeles — is going “ideal” in just a week! Boy, someone’s sure in a hurry.

    We had heard that the Advanced Org facilities in LA — the American Saint Hill Organization (ASHO) and the Advanced Organization of Los Angeles (AOLA) — had been going through renovations. And now, apparently, it’s time for a grand re-opening party!

    Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2014
    From: ASHO
    Subject: A letter to all FSM’s – from the Captain ASHOD

    A few weeks ago I sent you a personal Captain’s FSM Newsletter to update you on the delivery here at ASHO since the release of Golden Age of Tech Phase II. This is another update but with a significance that you have to mark with super urgency for action. A red alert!

    The Ideal ASHO and AOLA Grand Opening is just around the corner, taking place on SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2014. ASHO is a flurry of around-the-clock preparations, and public have been arriving from all over the Americas and beyond to start their next Bridge steps and be here for the first Ideal Sea Org Grand Opening and LRH’s Birthday.

    Well, that certainly is coming up fast — we hope some of our Los Angeles correspondents might be on hand Saturday to survey the scene as Scientology throws a big party for ASHO and AOLA. Send us some photos!

    Continued here:
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