Someone called The Missionary Kid is collecting comments from http://tonyortega.org and posting them... in a comment at that site. I thought it'd be worth preserving that here: THINGS SAID ABOUT $CIENTOLOGY Not only is there no science in $cientology, it's actually anti-scientific. $cientology auditing is an inescapable Groundhog Day. $cientology: Really good....at disconnection $cientology. We are the clap of tax free pseudo religions. $cientology. You don't have to be crazy to be one, but it helps. A good trap requires good cheese to misdirect your attention. In Scientology, the cheese is tailored to the individual. A made up story that $cientology puts out to explain a lie to the faithful is called a"shore story." To the rest of the world, it's so ridiculous, we call them a "snore story." - term courtesy of Michael Leonard Tilse A perfect storm of gullibility intersecting with guile. A Scientologist's idea of proof is is based on an uncritical belief in anecdotes A Sciloon event being free is much like a Big Mac being suitable for vegetarians. A short description of scientology, applicable to all levels: Imagine a problem; now pay me to fix it. – Michael Leonard Tilse A vampire empire of clams All $cientology is black $cientology. All dianetics is black dianetics. All of Scientology comes from four misunderstood words. Those words are "modern", "science", "mental health", and “religion.” All Scientologist are Ex-Scientologists....,they just dont know it yet. An auditor with no personal rights helps people to go free............ What a contradiction. An e-meter works better as an electrician's Volt-Ohm Meter. Be Insouciant. Join staff never Because it's pure BS $cientology is pedaling, it's a non-prophet organization. There's no prophecy involved. Beer: Better for you than Scientology, and much cheaper, too. Being a clam requires full burial in the church's sand pit. Being in Co$ is the spiritual equivalent of doing crystal meth: brain drain Being involved with Scientology is like getting trolled, Rick Rolled, and mugged for your wallet. Blinded by the tek, ripped off by a douche, another conner in the night... Choke of Scamatology Clam Kool Aid is called Clam Aid Clamagedon: the end of $cientology. Clamatology is at its core, a sales exchange of the intangible for the imaginary. Clamland: where $cientologists' minds live. Clearing the Planet: The MacGuffin of $cientology* Clearly, $cientology doesn't make the "able" more able to spell. Clearwater buildings are being turned into an Iron Curtain country replica, one building at a time by $cientology. CO$ -- America's own home-bred Mafia. Co$ = All tent, no cattle Co$ = All tent, no cattle (but a lot of sheep) Co$ has erotomania (stalking syndrome) It's also called De Clerambault's Syndrome. Cogito ergo sum- I think therefore I am. Scientology version: Cogito quia dictum- I think because I was told Common sense is a crime in $cientology. Compassion is a crime in $cientology Conned by the Con of $cientology. Contradiction is Scientology's middle name. Contradiction is the essence of Scientology. COS: Crimewave of Scientology Dave...your "Idea Orgs" are like naming the TITANIC the "Ideal Ship. – Tory Christman Dear Scientologists, you were lied to. The whole time. DELUSION + CERTAINTY = SCIENTOLOGY Dianetics and Scientology: exorcising First Amendment rights since 1950 Disneyland calls itself, "The Happiest place in the world." Co$ is the unhappiest. Don't be a little bitch when you can be a big one should be $cientology's motto. Don't worry! All your remaining problems will be fixed on the next level. - Rinse, repeat. Drive a man to absolute fear, then offer him salvation... and you will own the man: body, mind and soul. – From a British TV show on PBS. E-Meter = D-Weapon Ethics and $cientology in the same sentence. The ideal oxy- moron. Even asking a scientologist if they're a scientologist is taken as a provocation. Every time you hear a Scientologist use the word "friend" just substitute "fellow cult member" and you will then understand what they are really saying. Everything in $cientology is pulled out of someone's ass. Evidence from $cientology uses the Tech of Instant Made Up "Facts." Ex $cientologists are betrayed wounded Soldiers Fair Game: It's not a policy... it's a way of life. Famous for "withholding" the toilet paper worldwide. Financial forensic vultures make up $cientology. First, you pay $cientology for its reality. Next you pay while they adjust it. Follow LRH's examples and set science back centuries FUBAR AND SNAFU: the normal state of affairs in $cientology. Harassment and Lying are Scientology Sacrements. Honesty is out ethics! Hubbard's edifice of sand... Hypocrisy is a Scientology sacrament. I joined a religion started by a science fiction writer whose symbol was the double cross, and then they sold me a bridge...what could possibly have gone wrong? I wanted to be a Clear, but alas all my cash went exterior before I did. - George Layton I was lost, but then $cientology found my wallet. I was such an ashtray. - Roz Cohn I.A.S.= I Am Screwed I've never seen so many people convinced there must be a pony under all that horseshit. I've no interest in Scientology whatsoever. They're crazies. - Sher If a $cilon says she is alive, take a pulse. If she has one, she's lying If a phrenologist studiied a Scientologist skull, and got to the "humor", "skepticism" and "common sense" areas, he might think somebody had drilled it for a bowling ball! If it isn't fraud, it isn't scientology. If it isn't lying, it isn't scientology! If it's not fun, it's not anti-scientology! If it's not hypocrisy, it's not Scientology! If it's Scientology, they're lying. If the Borg asimiliated the Ferengi you'd get $cientology. If there's one thing I've learned about Scientology, it's that they never learn. If they weren't homophobic assholes, then it wouldn't be Scientology. – Derek Bloch If what you're doing doesn't work, do MORE of it. If you ain't getting yelled at, it ain't Scientology If you mess with people's conception of reality enough, they might just believe everything you say. If you're in Scientology buying Humanitarian status, you're not a humanitarian. In $cientology, "ethics" is NOT. In a Scientology building. EVERY room is a fundraising room. In practice, ethics always boiled down to crimes against profits. In Scientology they round up stats to the next order of magnitude. Isn't that close enough? In Scientology, it's always your fault. In Scientology, The cash "shortfall" = the amount that is still not sucked out of the wallet In Scientology, the only right answer is yes. And you are the only problem. In scientology, the patients pay the master to create the phenomenon. In the real world, patients pay the doctors to make it stop. In the UK, Scientology comes in a poor third behind the Qu'ran and a man in a comedy bear outfit. In the wog world, 100K buys you an impressive college degree. In scientology, the acquired knowledge barely qualifies you to operate a cash register. Ironic that the only time a Scientologist really needs a bridge is when they are leaving. It is ALWAYS opposite day in Scientology! It is always worse than it seems...it is so BLATANTLY FALSE!!! It is never enough, and you are never enough in Scientology It is not “how to think,” but “what not to think.” It is very debilitating. Imagine growing up and being told that Doubt is wrong It's $cientology. Nothing and no-one is clear. It's a festival of pain. It's a financial scheme organized like a cult, enforced like a mafia and disguised as a religion. It's ironic how ex-scientologists describe leaving the cos as their biggest win of all. It's like slapping metallic paint and a Mercedes symbol onto a horse and carriage and calling it an advancement in the field of transportation. - Derek Bloch It's Scientology! It doesn't have to make sense. It's the only religion in the world which has more lawyers in one courtroom than it does new converts in a year Joining Scientolgy for the psychological wins is like joining the mafia for the sauce. Joining scientology for the status is like joining the mafia for the sauce. Just because you can append an "-ology to a word, as in Scientology & Astrology, it does not make it based on objective reality. LieFi Likely to amuse connoisseurs of human gullibility Long term issues are confronted by $cientology by using the "witch hunt" technique, which they execute masterfully. Lying is a scientology sacrament. Lying to one's self and Scientology = THE SAME THING. Money paid to $cientology represents fealty to DM, like the head of a much more honest organization gets: the mafia. Money Tech outguns OT Powers every time. Narrowed it down to just one sentence the essence of $cientology: Cash, credit or your worst fears? New definition of Scientologists: That group that is held together only by their mutual fear of being disconnected from each other. – Jefferson Hawkins New Era of the Footbullet No one believes in $cientology, but all of them thinks everyone else believes. Now is the era of the footbullet. On the OT levels, the supposedly cleared reactive mind suddenly and unexpectedly morphs into endless, and endlessly expensive, entities. On to Phase Three: total collapse. One anecdote from a professional fiction writer and teller of tall tales is accepted as scientific proof in $cientology. One man's religious expression is another man's class A felony.. Only a mind slave is a good cult member. Someone who gives all, receives nothing and is called liability. Only a Scientolgist can drive past a beating and truly help beat the guy. OSA bites. OSA Clear; A person who no longer has their own analytical mind. OSA has an image problem... they exist. - Sarah James OSA: Never telling the truth where a lie can be used instead. OT stands for bring your Own Toilet paper. OTIII -- Wall of Stupid. OTs thinking they are capable is a lot like having a regiment of 4Fs and thinking that they are navy seals. People...have to agree to be stupid. – L. Ron Hubbard (1959) Pluralistic ignorance - everyone thinks they are the only one who is bluffing, and everyone else understands, and has had 'wins'. In actual fact, everyone is bluffing. psychiatrist Daniel Zagury, described the way Scientology operated as an abuse of the well-known process of transference, in which the patient becomes dependent on their therapist. Purification rundown = putrefaction shakedown. Putting "critical thinking" and "Scientology" together creates an oxymoron. Quote borrowed, but it applies to Co$, “Their drab stone discipline is a celebration of mediocrity." - John D. McDonald Real responsibility is a two way street, but in Hubbard's world it was a one way dead end. Regging & Recruiting are the only R&R you will ever see when you are 'in'. Religion is free; Scientology is neither Risible magnum of snake oil Ron is gone but the con goes on . . . Rx for $cientology, Hang onto your wallet and run like hell. scien-D'oh!-logy: Scientology Homer Simpson style. Science is a good antidote for Scientology Scientolgy degree: doctorate of illiteracy. Scientolgy, It's like a diploma mill for your soul. Scientologists suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect Scientologists: The worst friends money can buy. Scientologists' greatest skill is lying. Scientology - build a brand, collect the dough. Scientology - fastest imploding religion in the world. Scientology - getting it wrong since forever! Scientology - preying on vulnerable, the Gypsy of religion and spiritualism. Scientology -- the gift to comedians worldwide that keeps on giving! Scientology – It's all about money. Scientology – Where Sacred IS Profane. Scientology – Where Sacred Meets Profane. Scientology : putting the crisis into hypocrisies. Scientology . . . where the crazy never sleeps. Scientology ...it's like autism ...only without the good stuff. Scientology "Justice" is to Scientology members what the KKK used to be for black folks: Preplanned horrors. -- Tory Christman Scientology affects your Q rating like the Ebola virus! Scientology anagram: goy, in closet. Scientology appears to be the Herpes of belief systems. They just will not go away and so far no one has invented a surefire cure. – Marc Headly Scientology Brain = Spin Cycle Scientology brings out the whiner in a person. Scientology cheapens everything. Scientology Ethics make Satanism look like daycare for toddlers Scientology Ethics: A sliding slippery slope. Scientology has no heart, no compassion, no love, and no humanity. Scientology in 2 words...."Damaging Horseshit" Scientology in a nutshell: a nut shell Scientology in one word: CULT! Scientology is a $courge. Scientology is a carnivorous, rapacious, cannibalistic scam, eating its own supporters, then blaming the victims for not tasting very good. Scientology is a cult operating as a business masquerading as a religion. - Bryan Seymour Scientology is a laughingstock. And when it isn't that, it is a dangerous, money-grubbing cult run by a tyrant with little bitty baby-feet. Scientology is a mirage Scientology is a Potemkin village, physically and systematically. Scientology is about as "spiritual" as a cross between Amway and the mafia. Scientology is an irony-free zone. Scientology is child abuse. Scientology is evil and so are all of it's parts. - Derek Bloch Scientology IS Hubbard's "service facsimile." Scientology is just one gigantic Rube Goldberg contraption designed to extract dollars from wallets. Scientology is like pizza, it's all about the dough. [With religious topping.] Scientology is like the abusive parent who says "do as I say, not as I do or you'll get more where that came from". Scientology is like those plastic covers your grandma kept on her furniture. Ugly and see thru and completely out of date. Scientology is like throwing up: “better out than in.” Scientology is Lip Service (also refers to LRH's flappy lips). Scientology is little more than its own funeral, attended by its own few remaining mourners, while largely ignored (or mocked) by the population at large. Scientology is MEST up. Scientology is really the most expensive role playing game ever Scientology is the only game in the universe, where the losers win Scientology is the tool to con yourself ...over and over and over again. – Kim O”Brien Scientology is what is wrong with Scientology. You don't correct what's faulted from the start. You just help people who touched it. – Andrei Organ Scientology means Never Having to Say You're Sorry. (But if you're a scilon you're sorry all right!) Scientology OT Levels: It is always more vacuous than you think Scientology says, "Our foes are a bunch of mutts named Jeff." Scientology says, “Our free speech trumps your free speech every time.” Scientology smells of all the truths they didn't tell. Scientology sows its own seeds of destruction Scientology suffers from ADD (All Day Dumb) Scientology would be a joke if it weren't real. Scientology- the Zen Buddhism of Opposite Land Scientology--the last refuge of the fashion criminal Scientology-impeding communication since 1953. Scientology, as a religion, is hollow and empty, a fact that's exemplified by the pictures we've seen of the inside of the SP "cathedral". Scientology, it is always worse than your worst nightmare. Scientology, it's always weirder than you think. Scientology, It's always worse than you think. Scientology, it's not only worse than you think, it's worse than you can imagine! Scientology, the crazier version of Ancient Aliens. – Derek Bloch Scientology, the Hindenburg of religions. Scientology, the Self-Promoting Religion Living on the Fringe of Society - Anette Iren Johansen Scientology: It's like Amway, but without the useful cleaning products. Scientology: The MC Esher stairway that always seems to be going up, but gets you nowhere. Scientology: "Psst, hey, buddy, wanna buy a bridge?" since 1950. Scientology: A knock-you-down-kick-you-in-the-balls religion Scientology: a North Korea of the mind Scientology: a school for psychopaths. Scientology: After we're done with you, YOU provide the carrot AND the stick! Scientology: alienating alien nation Scientology: All the spiritual spam you can afford, and then some. Scientology: an Abusement Park Scientology: an abuser's paradise. Scientology: an Alcatraz of the mind Scientology: An alphabet soup concoction of corporate bodies Scientology: an insult to hard-working sociopaths. Scientology: An Unamusement Park. Scientology: As relevant as the Edsel Scientology: As Wrong As Creationism, But In The Other Direction. - Tony Ortega with PZ Myers Scientology: Blaming the victim since before it was cool Scientology: Check your common sense at the door. Scientology: Clearing the planet one bank account at a time. Scientology: Creating vegetables out of human minds since 1952 Scientology: Disassociated schizophrenia at a premium price. Scientology: Even the trivial details are too weird to be believed. Scientology: Force Yourself to Smile, because you gonna need it. – Andrei Organ Scientology: It Satirizes Itself SCIENTOLOGY: It's All a Colossal Waste of Time and Self-Defeatingl Scientology: It's whack. Scientology: Like dating a person so ugly you don't want any of your friends to know. Scientology: Making the able DetestAble Scientology: making the less able unstable. Scientology: Making the lucid into lunatics. ™ Scientology: making up all the lies they see fit to print. Scientology: manipulation and enslavement. Scientology: McDonald's service at Morton's prices Scientology: No Self, No Life, No Freedom, Scientology: No Self, No Life Scientology: Nothing too petty, no betrayal too small! Scientology: Pluralistic ignorance, but on a larger scale. Scientology: Religion for SP's Scientology: Satan's thetans Scientology: Society's Cancer Scientology: The anglefish of religions. http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads... Scientology: The ball gag and duct tape of world religions. - Michael Leonard Tilse Scientology: The black hole of member's money Scientology: The Cult of Unintended Consequenses & Colatteral Damage Scientology: The Gift That Keeps On Taking. Scientology: the gonorrhea of religions. That's an ugrade from being the herpes of religions. Scientology: The Jerry Springer Show meets North Korea Scientology: the more I learn, the more I shudder. Scientology: The odds are good that the goods are odd Scientology: the only free thing it offers is lessons to slumlords, and it would charge for those if it could. Scientology: The pursuit of crappyness. Scientology: The rapturous celebration of the win of a mental illness called OT. Scientology: The religion where you trust no one! Scientology: the Theology of Finger-pointing. Scientology: the venereal disease of religion Scientology: They'd litigate a turd if they didn't like it Scientology: They'll have what you're have. Scientology: To be perfectly clear, It does not solve the underlying problems; it merely cures the complaints by ending the person's freedom to complain Scientology: Tom Cruise isn't rich enough yet Scientology: unshakeable faith in an unspeakable fake Scientology: We mishandle the truth. Scientology: We promise to completely f' up your life. Scientology: When in doubt, assume it's a lie. Scientology: where every day is like being in 7th grade again. Scientology: Where the horizon is always the same distance away. Scientology: You will obey us or we'll hunt you down. Scientology: You'll feel better when you leave. Scientology. Nothing is small about us...except our leader and our minds. Scientology... It's stranger than I thought. Scientology...a River of Fear runs through it. Scientology...always many decades behind. Scientology...its always much worse than you remember Scientology...like quicksand, only worse. Scientology...so full of Holes and holy wishes. Scientology...What a racket! Scientology's legal mindset: Law and ordure Scientologyland: where $cientologists' minds live. Scilons are the Masters of Unintended Irony. Scnethics Corollary: The amount of lies told by $ciontology are inversely proportionate to the size of the group spoken to. SeaOrg: Come for the Slavery, stay for the table scraps. SeaOrg: Where Toilet and Toothbrush meet. Serendipity is what $cientology calls power over MEST. Sherm-speak: Why say in 3 words what you can say in 62! Show me on the doll where L. Ron Hubbard swindled you. So the price for the "Wall of Fire" is really just a donation? Great! I can do it for free! Sorry $ci, you are crumbling like a sand castle in a hurricane. Spelling tech: Scientology -- making the Able more Blea... Square footage is the more important stat than actual humans doing things in $cientology SSSOHB: Scientology Sucks Souls On Hollywood Boulevard Study of Scientology: $cientoproctology Terminally Constipated That's $camatology: All Trick and No Treat – Said about a Scientology at Haloween. The $cientology symbol: The Double Cross The Beast that devours lives – Jane White The big difference between the church of scientology and the mafia is the mafia actually go to church on Sunday. The biggest win one can get from Scientology: leaving and having a great life after you quit. The Blackheart Religion... Scientology! The bridge to total bankruptcy. The bridge to total Fleecedumb. The Bridge to Total Freedom is a gangplank. The Bridge to Total Freedom is not a Bridge...it [is] a Pier to Total Flotsam - Michael Pattinson The Bridge to Total Freedom is paved with abandoned good intentions. - Eivol Ekdal The church has all this power over you until you realize it doesn't. The criminal organization known as $cientology The cult is a 'religion' that acts like a timeshare sales pitch without the morals, ethics or any oversight at all. The Customer Is Always Wrong The diabolical mental klein bottle of becoming a conman to yourself and paying Ron for the privilege. The end Phenomena for all of $cientology is a Suppresive Person declaration – Tory Magoo The endless nightmare that needs to die forever. The further up you go, the worse it gets. - Jason Beghe The higher you go in Scientology, the less it works The only culture $cientology can be compared to is found in 1984. While both are based on fiction, only scientology makes real money and real slaves off the fantasy. The only good days are the days people walk out – upright. The only insight in Scientogy is "Ron is right." The only part of Scientology that actually "works" is it's lawyers. The only thing $cientology can clear are bank accounts. The only thing Scientology will ever clear is your pocketbook The only thing the Co$ is good at shattering is it's believers dreams The primary product of Scientology these days is ex-Scientologists! The Scientologist Creed: Do what you like, as long as it's what we tell you to do. The Scientologists cure for Scientology: More Scientology! the scientology family that preys together, stays together. The true definition of an OT is THE ABILITY TO WALK AWAY. The type of cheese the Moon is made from The very opposite of spiritual. Spiritually bankrupt in fact. The way to crapiness The Way to Flappiness The word Scientology has about as much brand equity as Nambla. Their feckless impotence only makes us stronger. There is no being humble in Scientology, Inc. There is no science in $cientology. There's Miracle-Gro and then there's $cientology: Miracle Kill. These people could fuck up a two-car funeral They only see the "profit potential" of unconditional love & desperation They seem particularly adept at abbreviating rational thought. They'd regg a gerbil. Think for yourself (within the approved party line). Third Party Law = Conspiracy Theorist's Charter = Paranoid Schizophrenia This is one of the few companies that is very good at selling – nothing. That is a talent. Throwing people under the bus has always been a part of the "tech" in $cientology Tick tock, Tick Tock: Time is on *our* side. – Tory Christman. To destroy people and bankrupt them, the less sensical, the more effective $cientology is. To make chowder, it's necessary to slice and dice the poor mollusks. First step: cook them a la "The Purification Rundown" True arrogance: Scientology makes us all better, but I'm better than you! True equality: $cientology=$ – Rachel Heidi We get to look at the lunacy [of the Super Power building] for free, they have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars. Welcome to a new era of Scientology expansion, "The Golden Age of 1,000 Lawyers." Whales are holy to Scientolgists, but they hunt them, kill them and render them down for cash. What a mess Scientology and Scientologists make of others lives. What is good in Scientology is not unique, and what is unique in Scientology is not good What motion has helped others? Walking out of Scientology. What was useful wasn't new. What was new wasn't useful What's the coolest thing to do in Scientology? Leave. When it does not make sense - IT IS SCIENTOLOGY!! When trying to decide what to say about $cientology, It's hard to cherry pick from all of the rotten fruit. Would you like a serving of cold creamy revenge with the slice of Cult Armageddon pie? Wouldn't a sign saying “occupy Clearwater” be redundant? WWP is the Jester, OSA the Joke and David Miscavige the Punchline You can pay to flatline your mind for a fee [In Scientology] – Jamie DeWolf, great grandson of LRH You know you're in a cult when ...you are FORBIDDEN from knowing how the church is run and what they are doing with donations. Zero empathy for others is typical of $cientology GROUPED STATEMENTS ABOUT SCIENTOLOGY Some churches are Pro-Choice. But there is only one ONE church that REQUIRES some of its women who get pregnant to HAVE abortions: The Church of Scientology. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scientology: Pay to have them convince you that you have problems only they can fix. Pay to have them cause you to have problems. Pay to have them convince you that only they can fix those problems. Pay to have them make the problems worse. Repeat. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Religion is free. Scientology is neither. The Orgs are not Churches. Registrars are not a clergy, Auditors are not ministers. COB of RTC is not a Pope. L. Ron Hubbard is not a Messiah. "(Scientology) ..is not a psycho-therapy nor a religion.." ~ L. Ron Hubbard. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Minority Report': science fiction where you're arrested for crimes that have yet to be committed. Minority Religion': science fiction where you commit crimes for which you have yet to be arrested. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In sinister organizations, the left hand does not know what the right hand is doing. In scientology organizations, the left hand does not know what the left hand is doing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "She died, people die" - David Miscavige. (Speaking of dead $cientologist Lisa McPherson). "Miscavige is a world-class -prick" Valerie Ross ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The two types of people who join scientology: Those who are kind and think they can help the world those who see promise of power and are bullies Only the first type become disillusioned and leave. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GOD HATES FLAG ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE? YOU DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING RANK TO ASK THAT ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientology? You got your fat slob, and you got your dwarfing dwarf. Take your pick. Me? I'm holding out for the flying monkeys. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ On $cientology's legal tactics after they were caught modifying evidence: It is as if a rapist got caught and started with the old 'Are you gonna believe me or your lyin' eyes?" routine, and then switched right over to... "OUCH! She hurt my penis! You saw it!" and suing her for assault with a deadly vagina. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The lower half of the bridge = Hub trying to get the voices to shut the hell up. The upper half of the bridge = Hub trying to get the aliens 3 months late in room and board evicted. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientology. It's all about masturbation. $cientology. We can help you handle that. $cientology. We will leave the room and you can handle that yourself. $cientology. Take Matters Into Your Own Hands....Just Don't Leave a Mess on the Floor. HERE'S A BOX OF TISSUE. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scientology upper levels: chasing away space alien souls. Scientology lower levels: always the same result, "I just realized ..." blah blah blah. Secrets of the universe: big come-on, then it descends into bad science fiction. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Whilst Zeus used it as an eternal punishment Hubbard/Miscavige adopt it as the standard policy of going up the bridge. Scientology should now be known as Sisyphusology In Greek mythology Sisyphus was punished for chronic deceitfulness by being compelled to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this action forever. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The real Golden Rule in Scientology: "The one with the gold makes the rules." From: "Scientologists getting back in comm" If you don't follow the rules, the Golden Rod will follow you ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientologists: Xenuphiliacs Bitter defrocked apostates and bigots on the fringes of the interwebz: Xenuphobes ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What does scientology worship= Themselves........... Narcissism at its ugliest. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientology: Freedom Medal? Meddling with freedom for over 60 years ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5 years on, here's how the list looks: THINGS SAID ABOUT $CIENTOLOGY Not only is there no science in $cientology, it's actually anti-scientific. $cientology auditing is an inescapable Groundhog Day. $cientology goes overboard about ethics. (Ref: lrh's habit of overboarding people). $cientology is a legacy from past, more ignorant times. $cientology seems to fuck people up. $cientology: Do you want a gas-mask with that? $cientology: Really good....at disconnection $cientology: Selling the cognition that a Theta has 57 Perceptics. The 58th Perceptic is the ability to perceive you are being conned by $cientology $cientology. The World will be a better place...when it is gone. – Chris Shelton $cientology. We are the clap of tax free pseudo religions. $cientology. You don't have to be crazy to be one, but it helps. A good trap requires good cheese to misdirect your attention. In Scientology, the cheese is tailored to the individual. A made up story that $cientology puts out to explain a lie to the faithful is called a"shore story." To the rest of the world, it's so ridiculous, we call them a "snore story." - term courtesy of Michael Leonard Tilse A perfect storm of gullibility intersecting with guile. A Scientologist's idea of proof is is based on an uncritical belief in anecdotes A Sciloon event being free is much like a Big Mac being suitable for vegetarians. A short description of scientology, applicable to all levels: Imagine a problem; now pay me to fix it. – Michael Leonard Tilse A vampire empire of clams After someone said that $cientology was a set of lies, Derek Bloch replied, "It's far beyond that. It's layers of social, behavioral, psychological, and emotional conditioning. The lies are secondary. All $cientology is black $cientology. All $cientology tech is failed tech. All dianetics is black dianetics. All of Scientology comes from four misunderstood words. Those words are "modern", "science", "mental health", and “religion.” All Scientologist are Ex-Scientologists....,they just dont know it yet. An auditor with no personal rights helps people to go free............ What a contradiction. An e-meter works better as an electrician's Volt-Ohm Meter. An Ideal Org is an empty Org. Be Insouciant. Join staff never Because it's pure BS $cientology is pedaling, it's a non-prophet organization. There's no prophecy involved. Beer: Better for you than Scientology, and much cheaper, too. Being a clam requires full burial in the church's sand pit. Being ethical in $cientology means doing what $cientology wants you to do. Being in Co$ is the spiritual equivalent of doing crystal meth: brain drain Being involved with Scientology is like getting trolled, Rick Rolled, and mugged for your wallet. Blinded by the tek, ripped off by a douche, another conner in the night... Choke of Scamatology Clam Kool Aid is called Clam Aid Clamagedon: the end of $cientology. Clamatology is at its core, a sales exchange of the intangible for the imaginary. Clamland: where $cientologists' minds live. Clamology: It will turn you into a shell of your former self. Clamology: past its shell-by date Clearing the Planet: The MacGuffin of $cientology* Clearly, $cientology doesn't make the "able" more able to spell. Clearwater buildings are being turned into an Iron Curtain country replica, one building at a time by $cientology. CO$ -- America's own home-bred Mafia. Co$ = All tent, no cattle Co$ = All tent, no cattle (but a lot of sheep) Co$ has erotomania (stalking syndrome) It's also called De Clerambault's Syndrome. Cogito ergo sum- I think therefore I am. Scientology version: Cogito quia dictum- I think because I was told Comment is free, facts are sacred. Scientology is neither. Common sense is a crime in $cientology. Compassion is a crime in $cientology Conned by the Con of $cientology. Contradiction is Scientology's middle name. Contradiction is the essence of Scientology. COS: Crimewave of Scientology Cult of narcissism. – Michael Leonard Tlse Dave...your "Idea Orgs" are like naming the TITANIC the "Ideal Ship. – Tory Christman David M is remarkably inventive when it comes to creating new problems for himself, often by resorting to crude tactics for handling old ones. Dear Scientologists, you were lied to. The whole time. DELUSION + CERTAINTY = SCIENTOLOGY Dianetics and Scientology: exorcising First Amendment rights since 1950 Disneyland calls itself, "The Happiest place in the world." Co$ is the unhappiest. Dog-food for the mind, cyanide for the soul. Don't be a little bitch when you can be a big one should be $cientology's motto. Don't worry! All your remaining problems will be fixed on the next level. - Rinse, repeat. Drive a man to absolute fear, then offer him salvation... and you will own the man: body, mind and soul. – From a British TV show on PBS. E-Meter = D-Weapon E-meters make cash and sanity vanish Ethics and $cientology in the same sentence. The ideal oxy- moron. Even asking a scientologist if they're a scientologist is taken as a provocation. Every time you hear a Scientologist use the word "friend" just substitute "fellow cult member" and you will then understand what they are really saying. Everything in $cientology is pulled out of someone's ass. Evidence from $cientology uses the Tech of Instant Made Up "Facts." Ex $cientologists are betrayed wounded Soldiers Ex-Scientologists: The cult's best product ever. Fair Game: It's not a policy... it's a way of life. Famous for "withholding" the toilet paper worldwide. Financial forensic vultures make up $cientology. First, you pay $cientology for its reality. Next you pay while they adjust it. Follow LRH's examples and set science back centuries For all of the wide-eyed Scientologist blather about aesthetics, they only seem to have two styles: Über-garish and 80s Inquisition Modern. From the cartoon show Futurama: Scientology as a religion is like taking a carpet remnant and using it to make a prom dress. FUBAR AND SNAFU: the normal state of affairs in $cientology. Given the lies and utter absence of logic inherent in all of El Wretch's turgid hokus opus and the sacramental malfeasance and mendacity to be found within the "Church's" walls one could say that an Ideal Org was false premises. Harassment and Lying are Scientology Sacrements. He's the guy with the thousand yard cataract. Honesty is out ethics! How to deal with negative people (join Scientology, you'll deal with all kinds of negative people) Hubbard's edifice of sand... Hypocrisy is a Scientology sacrament. I bet if you check stats, given how few scientologists there really are, scientology is the most dangerous religion ever. I joined a religion started by a science fiction writer whose symbol was the double cross, and then they sold me a bridge...what could possibly have gone wrong? I wanted to be a Clear, but alas all my cash went exterior before I did. - George Layton I was lost, but then $cientology found my wallet. I was such an ashtray. - Roz Cohn I.A.S.= I Am Screwed I'd rather have the plague than be a Scientologist. I've never seen so many people convinced there must be a pony under all that horseshit. I've no interest in Scientology whatsoever. They're crazies. - Sher If $cientology has shown us anything...it better to be in charge than to be correct. Kinda sad really If a $cilon says she is alive, take a pulse. If she has one, she's lying If a phrenologist studiied a Scientologist skull, and got to the "humor", "skepticism" and "common sense" areas, he might think somebody had drilled it for a bowling ball! If it isn't fraud, it isn't scientology. If it isn't lying, it isn't scientology! If it makes sense, it's not Scientology. if it's $cientology, there's bound to be fraud involved. If it's not fun, it's not anti-scientology! If it's not hypocrisy, it's not Scientology! If it's Scientology, they're lying. If Scientology raises IQ how come the ones now in are not smart enough to realize that they being conned, exploited, and abused. If the Borg asimiliated the Ferengi you'd get $cientology. If there's one thing I've learned about Scientology, it's that they never learn. If they weren't homophobic assholes, then it wouldn't be Scientology. – Derek Bloch If what you're doing doesn't work, do MORE of it. If you ain't getting yelled at, it ain't Scientology If you breathe, they reg, if you don't breathe, they reg your estate. If you have $5000 and are too stupid to hold on to it.... Scientology can help you with that. If you mess with people's conception of reality enough, they might just believe everything you say. If you're in Scientology buying Humanitarian status, you're not a humanitarian. In $cientology, "ethics" is NOT. In a Scientology building. EVERY room is a fundraising room. In practice, ethics always boiled down to crimes against profits. In Scientology they round up stats to the next order of magnitude. Isn't that close enough? In Scientology, it's always your fault. In Scientology, The cash "shortfall" = the amount that is still not sucked out of the wallet In Scientology, the only right answer is yes. And you are the only problem. In scientology, the patients pay the master to create the phenomenon. In the real world, patients pay the doctors to make it stop. In the UK, Scientology comes in a poor third behind the Qu'ran and a man in a comedy bear outfit. In the wog world, 100K buys you an impressive college degree. In scientology, the acquired knowledge barely qualifies you to operate a cash register. Int Base: White buildings with blue roofs. Sounds like a Smurfs theme park. Ironic that the only time a Scientologist really needs a bridge is when they are leaving. It could be said that $cientology is Hubbard's whim. It is ALWAYS opposite day in Scientology! It is always worse than it seems...it is so BLATANTLY FALSE!!! It is never enough, and you are never enough in Scientology It is not “how to think,” but “what not to think.” It is not a psycho-therapy nor a religion. It is organized crime. It is very debilitating. Imagine growing up and being told that Doubt is wrong It may be a church, it may be a cult. Let's just call it a chult. It's $cientology. Nothing and no-one is clear. It's a festival of pain. It's a financial scheme organized like a cult, enforced like a mafia and disguised as a religion. It's always been a mystery to me, a complete utter mystery to me that anybody could read Dianetic's and then still take Scientology seriously It's ironic how ex-scientologists describe leaving the cos as their biggest win of all. It's like slapping metallic paint and a Mercedes symbol onto a horse and carriage and calling it an advancement in the field of transportation. - Derek Bloch It's Scientology! It doesn't have to make sense. It's the only religion in the world which has more lawyers in one courtroom than it does new converts in a year It’s the perfect faith for people who pretend for a living. Join $cientology and open the flood gates of ugly Joining Scientolgy for the psychological wins is like joining the mafia for the sauce. Joining scientology for the status is like joining the mafia for the sauce. Just because you can append an "-ology to a word, as in Scientology & Astrology, it does not make it based on objective reality. Keeping the other paying customers in line is a sacred ecclesiastical sacrament. Label that should be added to all $cientology literature: recycle before reading. LieFi Like most things in $cientology, there are no answers other than what they give you. Likely to amuse connoisseurs of human gullibility Long term issues are confronted by $cientology by using the "witch hunt" technique, which they execute masterfully. LRH Mind Rape Lying is a scientology sacrament. Lying to one's self and Scientology = THE SAME THING. Mental Rape is a good summation of $cientology, Money paid to $cientology represents fealty to DM, like the head of a much more honest organization gets: the mafia. Money Tech outguns OT Powers every time. Narrowed it down to just one sentence the essence of $cientology: Cash, credit or your worst fears? Nascar teams and Scientologists both spend a lot of money to go around in circles and end up right where they started in the end. Never underestimate $cientology's penchant for chicanery. New definition of Scientologists: That group that is held together only by their mutual fear of being disconnected from each other. – Jefferson Hawkins New Era of the Footbullet No one believes in $cientology, but all of them thinks everyone else believes. Now is the era of the footbullet. On hearing $cientology compared to college, a Bunker poster wrote, “I've never heard of a college where graduates are repeatedly told that their degrees are invalid and they will have to retake all their old courses at their own expense because someone found mistakes in the textbooks. I've never heard of a college where students are punished for asking the wrong questions. I've never heard of a college where all textbooks are written by the same man and everyone is required to agree 100% with everything he wrote.” On the OT levels, the supposedly cleared reactive mind suddenly and unexpectedly morphs into endless, and endlessly expensive, entities. On the whole, I can think of eleventy billion things to do that is better than getting rooked and swindled by a dwarf. On to Phase Three: total collapse. One anecdote from a professional fiction writer and teller of tall tales is accepted as scientific proof in $cientology. One man's religious expression is another man's class A felony.. Only a mind slave is a good cult member. Someone who gives all, receives nothing and is called liability. Only a Scientolgist can drive past a beating and truly help beat the guy. OSA bites. OSA Clear; A person who no longer has their own analytical mind. OSA has an image problem... they exist. - Sarah James OSA: Never telling the truth where a lie can be used instead. OT stands for bring your Own Toilet paper. OTIII -- Wall of Stupid. OTs thinking they are capable is a lot like having a regiment of 4Fs and thinking that they are navy seals. People...have to agree to be stupid. – L. Ron Hubbard (1959) Perception #58 is the perception to see Scientology what it really is. The rundown for this is done at the end of the bridge, which will then disappear from your universe. You will then be able to create your own religion in your own universe with yourself as God. Planetary Clearing is not a dream. It's a meaningless phrase we repeat at you to get your money. – Jefferson Hawkins Pluralistic ignorance - everyone thinks they are the only one who is bluffing, and everyone else understands, and has had 'wins'. In actual fact, everyone is bluffing. Prevent child abuse. Shut down the sea org. psychiatrist Daniel Zagury, described the way Scientology operated as an abuse of the well-known process of transference, in which the patient becomes dependent on their therapist. Publications from $cientology: Scientology garbage, expanding your carbon footprint. Purification rundown = putrefaction shakedown. Putting "critical thinking" and "Scientology" together creates an oxymoron. Putting the cray in cray-cray since 1954. Quote borrowed, but it applies to Co$, “Their drab stone discipline is a celebration of mediocrity." - John D. McDonald Real responsibility is a two way street, but in Hubbard's world it was a one way dead end. Regging & Recruiting are the only R&R you will ever see when you are 'in'. Relationships. Marriages. Families. Young minds. Young dreams. Young lives. Scientology -- is there anything it can't destroy? Religion is free; Scientology is neither Risible magnum of snake oil Ron is gone but the con goes on . . . RonConComa: The cult induced mindset of a Sea Org member or active public Scientologist. Rx for $cientology, Hang onto your wallet and run like hell. scien-D'oh!-logy: Scientology Homer Simpson style. Science is a good antidote for Scientology Scientolgy degree: doctorate of illiteracy. Scientolgy, It's like a diploma mill for your soul. Scientologists suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect Scientologists: The worst friends money can buy. Scientologists' greatest skill is lying. Scientology - build a brand, collect the dough. Scientology - dramatizing volcanos and yelling at ashtrays. Scientology - fastest imploding religion in the world. Scientology - getting it wrong since forever! Scientology - just like getting a frontal lobotomy. Scientology - preying on vulnerable, the Gypsy of religion and spiritualism. Scientology - the 'science' of mental harm. Scientology -- the gift to comedians worldwide that keeps on giving! Scientology – It's all about money. Scientology – Where Sacred IS Profane. Scientology – Where Sacred Meets Profane. Scientology : putting the crisis into hypocrisies. Scientology : We failed at clearing the planet, but we sure cleared our parking lots. Scientology . . . where the crazy never sleeps. Scientology ... the Proctologist of Religion. Scientology ... the science of blackmail, the business of leverage. Scientology ...it's like autism ...only without the good stuff. – Kim O'Brien Scientology "Justice" is to Scientology members what the KKK used to be for black folks: Preplanned horrors. -- Tory Christman Scientology affects your Q rating like the Ebola virus! Scientology always has a dozen gallons of paint to slap over reality, but never a single sheet of toilet paper to wipe up the shit underneath. Scientology anagram: goy, in closet. Scientology appears to be the Herpes of belief systems. They just will not go away and so far no one has invented a surefire cure. – Marc Headly Scientology auditing? They need the IRS variety Scientology believes in its own religious supremacy. Scientology Brain = Spin Cycle Scientology brings out the whiner in a person. Scientology causes bankruptcy Scientology cheapens everything. Scientology considers psychiatry to be an industry of death, while $cientology: an industry of debt. Scientology creates its own Super enemies. Scientology Ethics make Satanism look like daycare for toddlers Scientology Ethics: A sliding slippery slope. Scientology has no heart, no compassion, no love, and no humanity. Scientology Humanitarian: A person who lavishly funds human rights abuses for a trophy and a front row seat next to John Travolta. Scientology in 2 words...."Damaging Horseshit" Scientology in a nutshell: a nut shell Scientology in any form, is unhealthy. Scientology in one word: CULT! Scientology Inc is a Real Estate enterprise that acts as an Secret Service and thinks it is a Religion, and they get away with it - in the USA. Scientology Inc. - Disintegrates Your Spirit, Dismantles Your Soul. Scientology is a $courge. Scientology is a black hole that tries to keep the light of reporting or information away from it, and it's failing. Scientology is a black hole that tries to keep the light of reporting or information away from it, and it's failing. Scientology is a carnivorous, rapacious, cannibalistic scam, eating its own supporters, then blaming the victims for not tasting very good. Scientology is a cult operating as a business masquerading as a religion. - Bryan Seymour Scientology is a laughingstock. And when it isn't that, it is a dangerous, money-grubbing cult run by a tyrant with little bitty baby-feet. Scientology is a mirage Scientology is a one way road to Scientology. Scientology is a perfect foot-bullet machine. Scientology is a Potemkin village, physically and systematically. Scientology is a real shell game. Scientology is a trap. Scientology is about as "spiritual" as a cross between Amway and the mafia. Scientology is an irony-free zone. Scientology is basically an allergy to reality. Scientology is child abuse. Scientology is evil and so are all of it's parts. - Derek Bloch Scientology IS Hubbard's "service facsimile." Scientology is just one gigantic Rube Goldberg contraption designed to extract dollars from wallets. Scientology is like doing acid minus the fun...Lafayette Scientology Dianetics Scientology is like pizza, it's all about the dough. [With religious topping.] Scientology is like the abusive parent who says "do as I say, not as I do or you'll get more where that came from". Scientology is like the dark side of the Force, only a lot more expensive and without the super powers. Scientology is like those plastic covers your grandma kept on her furniture. Ugly and see thru and completely out of date. Scientology is like throwing up: “better out than in.” Scientology is Lip Service (also refers to LRH's flappy lips). Scientology is little more than its own funeral, attended by its own few remaining mourners, while largely ignored (or mocked) by the population at large. Scientology is MEST up. Scientology is not at all like Christianity, but it sure is like a puppy mill or a prostitution ring... Scientology is not your usual Cherch they have a covert ‘preying’ department called OSA. The Church that ‘Preys together stays together' Scientology is really the most expensive role playing game ever Scientology is the 'church' with disconnection as holy sacrament, money as their god and a sociopath as prophet. Scientology is the 'turn your head and cough' "religion", without the rubber gloves and the useful hernia check. Scientology is the ebola of religions Scientology is the most dangerous religion ever. Scientology is the only game in the universe, where the losers win Scientology is the tool to con yourself ...over and over and over again. – Kim O”Brien Scientology is what is wrong with Scientology. You don't correct what's faulted from the start. You just help people who touched it. – Andrei Organ Scientology loves to play and prey upon a person's conflict and turmoil. Scientology makes the Ferengi look like paragons of moral rectitude. Scientology may be put to some good use if "scientology" elements are taken out of it. Scientology means Never Having to Say You're Sorry. (But if you're a scilon you're sorry all right!) Scientology OT Levels: It is always more vacuous than you think Scientology says, "Our foes are a bunch of mutts named Jeff." Scientology says, “Our free speech trumps your free speech every time.” Scientology smells of all the truths they didn't tell. Scientology sows its own seeds of destruction Scientology suffers from ADD (All Day Dumb) Scientology turns everyone into whiners instead of winners. Scientology Will Cause Bankrupcy Scientology would be a joke if it weren't real. Scientology- the Zen Buddhism of Opposite Land Scientology--the last refuge of the fashion criminal Scientology-impeding communication since 1953. Scientology, as a religion, is hollow and empty, a fact that's exemplified by the pictures we've seen of the inside of the SP "cathedral". Scientology, it is always worse than your worst nightmare. Scientology, it's always weirder than you think. Scientology, It's always worse than you think. Scientology, it's not only worse than you think, it's worse than you can imagine! Scientology, the crazier version of Ancient Aliens. – Derek Bloch Scientology, the Hindenburg of religions. Scientology, the Self-Promoting Religion Living on the Fringe of Society - Anette Iren Johansen Scientology, where the bubble is lined with one way glass...facing in! Scientology: It's like Amway, but without the useful cleaning products. Scientology: The MC Esher stairway that always seems to be going up, but gets you nowhere. Scientology: "Psst, hey, buddy, wanna buy a bridge?" since 1950. Scientology: 57 perceptics and no one home Scientology: a bread and batter scam scientology: a cure for low blood pressure. Scientology: a def con. Scientology: a divorce from reality Scientology: A knock-you-down-kick-you-in-the-balls religion Scientology: a long con from Ron with a short wrong Don Scientology: a neologism for a malignant neoplasm Scientology: a North Korea of the mind Scientology: A Rotgut Religion at Premium Prices Scientology: a scam disguised as a therapy masquerading as a religion. Scientology: a school for psychopaths. Scientology: a scum skim scam Scientology: a tour-de-farce. Scientology: a way of observing reality from the outside Scientology: a way of observing reality without it. Scientology: After we're done with you, YOU provide the carrot AND the stick! Scientology: alienating alien nation Scientology: All the spiritual spam you can afford, and then some. Scientology: America's shittiest export. Scientology: an Abusement Park Scientology: an abuser's paradise. Scientology: an Alcatraz of the mind Scientology: An alphabet soup concoction of corporate bodies Scientology: an insult to hard-working sociopaths. Scientology: An Unamusement Park. Scientology: And the banned preyed on. Scientology: As relevant as the Edsel Scientology: as scientific as Japanese whaling Scientology: As Wrong As Creationism, But In The Other Direction. - Tony Ortega with PZ Myers Scientology: Black Heart, Dark Ops. Scientology: Blaming the victim since before it was cool Scientology: Bottom Shelf Religion at Top Shelf Prices Scientology: Buy your poverty today! Scientology: Check your common sense at the door. Scientology: Clearing the planet one bank account at a time. Scientology: Creating vegetables out of human minds since 1952 Scientology: Disassociated schizophrenia at a premium price. Scientology: Do you want asbestos with that? Scientology: Even The Sun knows you suck Scientology: Even the trivial details are too weird to be believed. Scientology: Force Yourself to Smile, because you gonna need it. – Andrei Organ Scientology: Gullible's Travels Scientology: Hubbard and Miscavige - the wrong and the short of it Scientology: infernal clamnation Scientology: insanity you can't afford Scientology: insulting science and religion in 1 word. Scientology: intrepid truth-slayers Scientology: It literally leads nowhere. Scientology: It Satirizes Itself SCIENTOLOGY: It's All a Colossal Waste of Time and Self-Defeatingl Scientology: It's whack. Scientology: Keep out of children Scientology: Like dating a person so ugly you don't want any of your friends to know. Scientology: Looking for relief? We will relieve you of your money, your family and your sanity. Scientology: making Ariel Castro look like a nice guy. Scientology: making leprosy look good Scientology: Making the able DetestAble Scientology: Making the Able Unstable. Scientology: making the less able unstable. Scientology: Making the lucid into lunatics. ™ Scientology: making up all the lies they see fit to print. Scientology: manipulation and enslavement. Scientology: May the farce be with you. Scientology: McDonald's service at Morton's prices Scientology: Moderate Psychoses at Premium Prices. Scientology: mostly wrong, but never uncertain. Scientology: No Self, No Life, No Freedom, Scientology: No Self, No Life Scientology: Nothing too petty, no betrayal too small! Scientology: One size fits all treatment - And it's the wrong fit. Scientology: perfecting moral bankruptcy since the '50s Scientology: Pluralistic ignorance, but on a larger scale. Scientology: Proudly Raising Sociopaths For 60 Years. Scientology: putting the con in iconic. Scientology: putting you in touch with your inner psychopath Scientology: putting you in touch with your inner sociopath Scientology: putting you out of touch Scientology: RDA 0 picograms {Reccommended Daily Allowance} Scientology: Recycling trash into more trash. Scientology: Religion for SP's Scientology: ruthless and truthless Scientology: sanity beyond reach Scientology: Satan's thetans Scientology: selling dreams and delivering nightmares. Scientology: Selling your own imagination back to you...with interest. Scientology: Society's Cancer Scientology: teaching confronts but really, it's a con front SCIENTOLOGY: The "religion" that should come with a WARNING LABEL. Scientology: The ball gag and duct tape of world religions. - Michael Leonard Tilse Scientology: The black hole of member's money Scientology: The Cult of Unintended Consequenses & Colatteral Damage Scientology: The Gift That Keeps On Taking. Scientology: the gonorrhea of religions. That's an ugrade from being the herpes of religions. Scientology: The Jerry Springer Show meets North Korea Scientology: the Mariana Trench of low behaviour, the Everest of arrogance. Scientology: the more I learn, the more I shudder. Scientology: The odds are good that the goods are odd Scientology: the only free thing it offers is lessons to slumlords, and it would charge for those if it could. Scientology: The pursuit of crappyness. Scientology: The rapturous celebration of the win of a mental illness called OT. Scientology: The religion where you trust no one! Scientology: the Theology of Finger-pointing. SCIENTOLOGY: The Truth Shall Make You Flee Scientology: the ultimate mindfuck. Scientology: the venereal disease of religion Scientology: The Way to Slappiness Scientology: The world's dumbest way to go broke. Scientology: They'd litigate a turd if they didn't like it Scientology: They'll have what you're have. Scientology: This product was produced in a truth-free environment. Scientology: To be perfectly clear, It does not solve the underlying problems; it merely cures the complaints by ending the person's freedom to complain Scientology: Tom Cruise isn't rich enough yet Scientology: turning honest people into Savonarolas (getting rid of LRH's trash books) Scientology: turning people into flotsam and jetsam since 1952 Scientology: unshakeable faith in an unspeakable fake Scientology: Ve haf vays of making you stalked. Scientology: Warning - may contain nuts Scientology: We mishandle the truth. Scientology: We promise to completely f' up your life. Scientology: When in doubt, assume it's a lie. Scientology: When you want some crazy with your evil! Scientology: where every day is like being in 7th grade again. Scientology: where sometimes your money isn't the only thing that goes out the window. (Ref. Suicides). Scientology: Where the horizon is always the same distance away. Scientology: You need to prey for that Scientology: You will obey us or we'll hunt you down. Scientology: You'll feel better when you leave. Scientology: Yquem prices and Thunderbird product Scientology? Get thee behind me, thetan. Scientology. Nothing is small about us...except our leader and our minds. Scientology. The Way to Happiness is rapidly sinking under The Weight of Crappiness. Scientology. Destroying families on the word of a lunatic. Scientology. Everything we say is a lie. We never lie. Scientology. It's like getting a haircut with a crash helmet on. Scientology. Now with vitamin enriched urine and stools. Scientology. That STD you got without the promised pleasure. Scientology... It's stranger than I thought. Scientology... ripping families apart, one member at a time. scientology... when in doubt, add more lawyers! Scientology...a River of Fear runs through it. Scientology...always many decades behind. Scientology...its always much worse than you remember Scientology...like quicksand, only worse. Scientology...so full of Holes and holy wishes. Scientology...What a racket! Scientology's legal mindset: Law and ordure Scientologyland: where $cientologists' minds live. Scientololgy is a bad trip. Scietology's preferred mode of transport is the blunder bus Scilons are the Masters of Unintended Irony. Scnethics Corollary: The amount of lies told by $ciontology are inversely proportionate to the size of the group spoken to. SeaOrg: Come for the Slavery, stay for the table scraps. SeaOrg: Where Toilet and Toothbrush meet. Serendipity is what $cientology calls power over MEST. Sherm-speak: Why say in 3 words what you can say in 62! Show me on the doll where L. Ron Hubbard swindled you. So long as the money flows, anything goes. So the price for the "Wall of Fire" is really just a donation? Great! I can do it for free! Sorry $ci, you are crumbling like a sand castle in a hurricane. Spelling tech: Scientology -- making the Able more Blea... Spiritual self-rape is what it is. Square footage is the more important stat than actual humans doing things in $cientology SSSOHB: Scientology Sucks Souls On Hollywood Boulevard Study of Scientology: $cientoproctology Tautology, thy name is $cientology (because) $cientology, thy name is tautology Terminally Constipated That's $camatology: All Trick and No Treat – Said about a Scientology at Haloween. That's $cientology: We will teach you how to communicate then we will hunt you down if you speak. The $cientology symbol: The Double Cross The Beast that devours lives – Jane White The big difference between the church of scientology and the mafia is the mafia actually go to church on Sunday. The biggest win one can get from Scientology: leaving and having a great life after you quit. The birthplace of Scientology -- That would be L. Ron Hubbard's ass. The Blackheart Religion... Scientology! The bridge to total bankruptcy. The bridge to total Fleecedumb. The Bridge to Total Freedom is a gangplank. The Bridge to Total Freedom is not a Bridge...it [is] a Pier to Total Flotsam - Michael Pattinson The Bridge to Total Freedom is paved with abandoned good intentions. - Eivol Ekdal The church has all this power over you until you realize it doesn't. The Church that ‘Preys together stays together The criminal organization known as $cientology The cult is a 'religion' that acts like a timeshare sales pitch without the morals, ethics or any oversight at all. The Customer Is Always Wrong The days of whine and poses: $cientology's duration. The diabolical mental klein bottle of becoming a conman to yourself and paying Ron for the privilege. The end Phenomena for all of $cientology is a Suppresive Person declaration – Tory Magoo The end phenomena of scientology is that it turns you into a homeless person...broke & crazy. The endless nightmare that needs to die forever. The fact that you are awake and aware makes you absolutely unqualified to remain a scientologist The further up you go, the worse it gets. - Jason Beghe The higher you go in Scientology, the less it works The love of money is the root of all Scientology. The lying insanity at its core $cientology's core feeds on the hope of all what's good. The modern science of mental health my ass The most "ethical" assholes on the planet. (ethical means conforming to Co$ orders). The only culture $cientology can be compared to is found in 1984. While both are based on fiction, only scientology makes real money and real slaves off the fantasy. The only good days are the days people walk out – upright. The only insight in Scientogy is "Ron is right." The only part of Scientology that actually "works" is it's lawyers. The only thing $cientology can clear are bank accounts. The only thing ideal about these people is their potential as fodder for wisecracks. The only thing Scientology will ever clear is your pocketbook The only thing the Co$ is good at shattering is it's believers dreams The only thing worse than cancer: Scientology The primary product of Scientology these days is ex-Scientologists! The Road to Total Elron The Scientologist Creed: Do what you like, as long as it's what we tell you to do. The Scientologists cure for Scientology: More Scientology! the scientology family that preys together, stays together. The true definition of an OT is THE ABILITY TO WALK AWAY. The type of cheese the Moon is made from The very opposite of spiritual. Spiritually bankrupt in fact. The way to crapiness The Way to Flappiness The word Scientology has about as much brand equity as Nambla. The World's Fastest Growing Rel Estate Scam Their ethics are the opposite of ethical. Their feckless impotence only makes us stronger. There is a cancer at the core of the Church of Scientology, and it's Scientology. There is no being humble in Scientology, Inc. There is no science in $cientology. There is no such thing as fair play or justice in Scientology. – Chris Shelton There's Miracle-Gro and then there's $cientology: Miracle Kill. These people could fuck up a two-car funeral They charge $ to take your $! They only see the "profit potential" of unconditional love & desperation They seem particularly adept at abbreviating rational thought. They'd regg a gerbil. Think for yourself (within the approved party line). Third Party Law = Conspiracy Theorist's Charter = Paranoid Schizophrenia This is $cientology. Give us your money, THIS IS A FACT: THERE ARE MORE EX-SCIENTOLOGISTS THAN THERE ARE SCIENTOLOGISTS. AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT, IT'S EASY TO PICK A SIDE – MARC HEADLEY This is one of the few companies that is very good at selling – nothing. That is a talent. This is scientology so rational thinking is a moot point. This is weak thin gruel with which to attempt to construct a world-view. Thousands of Scientologists have upped their donation status. Up yours! – Jefferson Hawkins Throwing people under the bus has always been a part of the "tech" in $cientology Tick tock, Tick Tock: Time is on *our* side. – Tory Christman. Tired of money problems? (give all your money to us, you won't have to worry about money anymore) To destroy people and bankrupt them, the less sensical, the more effective $cientology is. To make chowder, it's necessary to slice and dice the poor mollusks. First step: cook them a la "The Purification Rundown" True arrogance: Scientology makes us all better, but I'm better than you! True equality: $cientology=$ – Rachel Heidi Videos of David Mis$cavige: a low-budget game-show. We get to look at the lunacy [of the Super Power building] for free, they have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars. Welcome to a new era of Scientology expansion, "The Golden Age of 1,000 Lawyers." Whales are holy to Scientolgists, but they hunt them, kill them and render them down for cash. What a mess Scientology and Scientologists make of others lives. What is good in Scientology is not unique, and what is unique in Scientology is not good What motion has helped others? Walking out of Scientology. What was useful wasn't new. What was new wasn't useful What's the coolest thing to do in Scientology? Leave. What's the difference between a law student and a Scientologist? One receives a JD, the other receives J&D. (Joking & Degrading) Whatever life's problems, Scientology is NEVER the answer When it does not make sense - IT IS SCIENTOLOGY!! When trying to decide what to say about $cientology, It's hard to cherry pick from all of the rotten fruit. Where there is A WILL ...There is a Scientologist! (Waiting for the proceeds). Where there's a will there's a way-out Scientologist and his 20 lawyers... Would you like a serving of cold creamy revenge with the slice of Cult Armageddon pie? Wouldn't a sign saying “occupy Clearwater” be redundant? WWP is the Jester, OSA the Joke and David Miscavige the Punchline You can pay to flatline your mind for a fee [In Scientology] – Jamie DeWolf, great grandson of LRH You know you're in a cult when ...you are FORBIDDEN from knowing how the church is run and what they are doing with donations. Zero empathy for others is typical of $cientology *Posted by PoisonIvyHerself at http://tonyortega.org/2013/... Scientology: The anglefish of religions. GROUPED STATEMENTS ABOUT SCIENTOLOGY Some churches are Pro-Choice. But there is only one ONE church that REQUIRES some of its women who get pregnant to HAVE abortions: The Church of Scientology. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scientology: Pay to have them convince you that you have problems only they can fix. Pay to have them cause you to have problems. Pay to have them convince you that only they can fix those problems. Pay to have them make the problems worse. Repeat. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Religion is free. Scientology is neither. The Orgs are not Churches. Registrars are not a clergy, Auditors are not ministers. COB of RTC is not a Pope. L. Ron Hubbard is not a Messiah. "(Scientology) ..is not a psycho-therapy nor a religion.." ~ L. Ron Hubbard. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Minority Report': science fiction where you're arrested for crimes that have yet to be committed. Minority Religion': science fiction where you commit crimes for which you have yet to be arrested. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In sinister organizations, the left hand does not know what the right hand is doing. In scientology organizations, the left hand does not know what the left hand is doing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "She died, people die" - David Miscavige. (Speaking of dead $cientologist Lisa McPherson). "Miscavige is a world-class -prick" Valerie Ross ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The two types of people who join scientology: Those who are kind and think they can help the world those who see promise of power and are bullies Only the first type become disillusioned and leave. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GOD HATES FLAG ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE? YOU DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING RANK TO ASK THAT ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientology? You got your fat slob, and you got your dwarfing dwarf. Take your pick. Me? I'm holding out for the flying monkeys. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ On $cientology's legal tactics after they were caught modifying evidence: It is as if a rapist got caught and started with the old 'Are you gonna believe me or your lyin' eyes?" routine, and then switched right over to... "OUCH! She hurt my penis! You saw it!" and suing her for assault with a deadly vagina. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The lower half of the bridge = Hub trying to get the voices to shut the hell up. The upper half of the bridge = Hub trying to get the aliens 3 months late in room and board evicted. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientology. It's all about masturbation. $cientology. We can help you handle that. $cientology. We will leave the room and you can handle that yourself. $cientology. Take Matters Into Your Own Hands....Just Don't Leave a Mess on the Floor. HERE'S A BOX OF TISSUE. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scientology upper levels: chasing away space alien souls. Scientology lower levels: always the same result, "I just realized ..." blah blah blah. Secrets of the universe: big come-on, then it descends into bad science fiction. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Whilst Zeus used it as an eternal punishment Hubbard/Miscavige adopt it as the standard policy of going up the bridge. Scientology should now be known as Sisyphusology In Greek mythology Sisyphus was punished for chronic deceitfulness by being compelled to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this action forever. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The real Golden Rule in Scientology: "The one with the gold makes the rules." From: "Scientologists getting back in comm" If you don't follow the rules, the Golden Rod will follow you ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientologists: Xenuphiliacs Bitter defrocked apostates and bigots on the fringes of the interwebz: Xenuphobes ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What does scientology worship= Themselves........... Narcissism at its ugliest. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientology: Freedom Medal? Meddling with freedom for over 60 years ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientology: galactic acid Hydrochloric? or Lysergic? or . . . both? Uric. It's complete piss. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scientology destroys lives. Scientology lives to destroy. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientology: the prose of cons The Con of Pros - $cientology ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ One of the nuclear bombs that was dropped on Japan was named after Hubbard..."Fat Boy." The other one was named after Miscavige: "Little Boy". How prescient! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The $cientology Bridge is a suspension bridge. It works through suspension of disbelief. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientology: blinding people with mental cataracts And jaws wired shut. $cientology: eyes wide shut With super glue. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Con artist, grifter, scammer, abuser, liar, junkie, mental case, thief, opportunist, maniac, rapist. People, I give you L. Ron Hubbard a man who was so many things to so many, all of which was a horror. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ $cientology: Promises a life coach, delivers a blunder bus. And then throws you under it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The two COBs of $cientology: El Wretch: Bodies in the shop. Punching Pontiff: Bodies in the shoop. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The stink of $cientology surrounds a death. The stink of death surrounds $cientology. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ How does a true path differ from $cientology? Answer 1: The former teaches constance, the latter a con stance. Answer 2: The true path won't bankrupt you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The difference between Buddhism and $cientology? The former teaches you how to contemplate. The latter offers a con template. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The difference between a real religion and $cientology? The former develops conscience, the latter con science. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Only in Scientology is an insurance settlements = an ecclesiastical calling Only in Scientology does Closet + Underground parking deck = a great place to live Only in Scientology does a lost leg = a new recruit, without an iota of care or sympathy
