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When posing as a Scientologist...

Discussion in 'Fliers & Pamphlets' started by Lumber, Oct 28, 2010.

  1. Lumber Member

    When posing as a Scientologist...

    [IMG]
    This is Scientology's devil! We'll make him yours too (for a fee)!

    Without Sceintology's generous services, you will be reincarnated
    lifetime after lifetime in this prison planet. We can free you from
    this enslavement! With a mere $360,000 (give or take a couple
    hundred K), you can free yourself of this torment! Once you give
    us your money, Scientology will cure all your problems! Most likely.
    Probably. Or you'll die from Scientology's teachings (just like Lisa
    McPherson). But at least you won't be in debt anymore! If you
    don't have the money, you can join our glorious Sea
    Organization! It's ONE BILLION years of your (forced) labor
    through this lifetime and the next and the next!

    Benefits of the Scientology's Navy: The Sea Organization!

    1. Cozy quarters! Get real close with your fellow Sea Org
    members shacking up 8 to a shed! But NO sex ever! Sex will kill
    you! Only Scientology can decide who you have sex with!

    2. Make 36 CENTS EVERY hour! Why make dollars when you
    can make CENTS? After 80 (forced) hours of work you'll have
    all the cents you need!

    3. A wide variety of culinary delights from rice, beans and water;
    to beans, rice and water; to water, rice and beans (for a fee)!

    4. Total security! There's even barbed wire on the INSIDE of our
    fences! You'll never escape!

    5. Luxurious cruises! You'll shine the shoes of the elite and the
    rub the floors of the ship! Pay no heed to the blue asbestos
    on the ceiling!

    6. Spiffy blue and white jackets (for a fee)!

    7. Are you a female and have you got yourself "in trouble?" Well,
    worry no more! If you ever make the evil, awful mistake of
    having sex, then Scientology's here to help! We'll send your
    husband halfway across the world and pull that baby right out
    of you! With Scientology's patented Baby-B-GoneTM policy!
    Pro-choice? Pro-life? Doesn't matter anymore! No matter what
    you say Scientology WILL remove that baby (for a fee). Trust
    us. You're better off. You can't make any cents while pregnant!
  2. Lumber Member

    Re: When posing as a Scientologist...

    No, we didn't actually use this flier. It was for teh lulz.
  3. MrCorduroy Member

    Re: When posing as a Scientologist...

    That. Was. Amazing. Very very funny. Glad you didn't use it, but it made me laugh.
  4. anon1959 Member

    Re: When posing as a Scientologist...

    i am new here so please ignore my sillyness im just learning! bu what is lulz?
    thankyou in advance from a keen anon
  5. Anonymous Member

    Re: When posing as a Scientologist...

    Lentils~Ukeles~Lu-aus~&Zithers?
  6. ariesgirl Member

    Re: When posing as a Scientologist...

    needs more zithers.

    [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWo_w7TpBEk[/ame]

    lets try for lulzzzzzzzz in future, k? then there will be enough zithers. Maybe.
  7. anon1959 Member

    Re: When posing as a Scientologist...

    still doesnt help guys!!!!! a lulz is someone that plays music?
  8. Krautfag Member

  9. anonlady88 Member

    Re: When posing as a Scientologist...

    lmao it would make an interesting flier tho
  10. AnonyVix Member

    Re: When posing as a Scientologist...

    LULZ = laughs = for the fun of it.
  11. Re: When posing as a Scientologist...

    It's a corruption of lol. You should watch Fox News more, they know all about this stuff.
  12. CarterUSP Member

    Re: When posing as a Scientologist...

    Nice flier idea. Could be worth using.

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