Wins available in Independent Scientology, including repairing's one's eye and getting a rental car

Discussion in 'Independent Scientology' started by Anonymous, Nov 3, 2012.

  1. Anonymous Member

    Marty posted an Independent Scientology "Success Story" on his blog. After "25 hours auditing over the last 2 weeks (Sept 2012)" on "Grade 0 and Objectives," the "wins" include, but are not limited to:
    Toronto Is Delivering

    One looks forward to the scientific confirmation of exteriorization.

    One also looks forward to the scientific and medical confirmation of the "eye repair," as well as the ability to "give it oxygen" to cause the "whole eye to reshift."

    One, of course, has no concerns about confirmation bias.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Anonymous Member

    * Move in and out of Body=Transcendental Meditation; Yet maretay cannot even describe it correctly
    * This one is so stupid it defies scientific and medical facts
    * Maybe he saw the car being returned and the clerk did not,,,Silly
    * Perception without using your eyes,,Wow like everybody already does that one.
    This guy is a nut job
    • Agree Agree x 2
  3. Anonymous Member

    • Black: I want to rent a car.
    • Clerk: Sorry sir, but they've all been rented.
    • Black: <waves hand> No, I think you still have one.
    • Clerk: <checks system> No, they've all been rented.
    • Black: <waves hand> No, I really think you have one.
    • Clerk: Why you waving your hand? You think you some kind of Jedi? Besides, the Jedi rented all the last ones to get to the Star Wars convention.
    • Black: Fuuuuuuu...
    • Funny Funny x 7
  4. Anonymous Member

    Scientologists don't need evidence - they have success stories. FFS.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. Anonymous Member

    • Funny Funny x 3
  6. Anonymous Member

    SCILON to WOG Dictionary Service v1.01

    Get your Kool Aid here, [insert false medical claim here, then imply that perfectly natural happenstance is a miracle while hoping no one will notice that correlation does not equal causation]
  7. another123 Member

    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 1
  8. another123 Member

    So many ways to shoop it, so little time...
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 1
  9. muldrake Member

    Somehow, I successfully rented a car recently without a bit of Scientology. Miraculous!

    I also lost my cell phone. THEN I FOUND IT! Win after win after win after win!
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. Mr. Magoo Member

    Teh miraklez just keep coming! From self-willed saggy-baggy "symetric" eye repair to spontaneous rental car materialization. Wow, just wow.

    It never ceases to amaze me how scientology tech simultaneously delivers mind-blowing human rights atrocities and mind-blowing lulz -- day after day after day. If it weren't for all the laughing I would be crying. Wait, or is that the other way around? If it weren't for all the crying I'd be laughing. Hmmm... I just can't decide.
  11. Anonymous Member

    I laughed when I read your post, v funny.
  12. Anonymous Member

    How many Scientology splinter groups are there? Hard to keep track of the different factions these days

    Ron's Orgs
    Marty's Indies
    Capt. Bill Robertson's Space Opera wackadoodles
    Reform Scientology

    Are there many more competing factions?
  13. Anonymous Member

    if Marty wants the media to take him seriously, he better stop posting this crap
    loo-loo-woo-hoo- head of poo
  14. anonamus Member

    But scilons will claim your win must be due to the good ol' Hubbard logic:
    "Right there, in those two instances, you were OA-TEE."

    Hubbard logic 101:
    When sth. good happens to you: Scientology works and it helps people.
    When sth. bad happens to you: Either you pulled it in or the 'tech' wasn't applied /applied properly.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  15. muldrake Member

    A lot of the "groups" like these are just a few people, or even one guy with a website, who may or may not have people who are on the same page. If you look at a lot of these "group" websites, many of them are cobwebsites that haven't been updated since Web 1.0.

    I'd say the largest "group" of non-CO$ Scientologists are just people who, for whatever reason, think there's something worthwhile in some or all of LRH's teachings and stick with it. Some of these people post on Marty's blog, some think he's dildos.

    Marty has no more right to a monopoly on Scientology, "Indie" or otherwise, than anyone else. People have been using that term to describe themselves for years. A lot of the very people he is seemingly trying to set himself up as a guru to are the same people he and Rinder were trying to "ruin utterly" not so long ago.

    I think that just like people tend to drift away from CO$, they tend eventually to drift away from even calling themselves Scientologists, either because they've abandoned it as a viable belief system or, even if they still stick to some parts of it, the word "Scientology" has been so ruined by CO$ that they don't want to have to explain they're not that kind of Scientologist.

    And again, if you look at a lot of these websites that collect FZ stuff, on a lot of them, none of the authors have been seen in years, at least not actively generating FZ material. It's the critical websites, whether here or even the more ex-friendly ESMB, that get the vast majority of traffic.

    I suppose Martyology may appeal to the kind of person who is still into being lied to and controlled by a power-tripping asshat, who apparently still believes that having been in DM's inner circle means something other than that he spent much of his life getting pimp-slapped by a midget.
    • Like Like x 5
    • Agree Agree x 1
  16. Anonymous Member

    nah... they aren't brainwashed
    • Agree Agree x 1
  17. AussieCase Member

    The force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.
  18. anon walker Moderator

    My parrot went up in a tree for three days. I wanted him to come back down and he did!
    Yay Hubbard or some shit!
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. AussieCase Member

    I think Capt. Bill started Ron's org.

    "Marty and the Martian freight train dodgers from Venus" are popular, I reckon they have the odd delusional auditor in many places--apparently there is even one in Canada now.
  20. Anonymous Member

    Wow, maaaan... you must be like a natural Cleared Theta Clear!
  21. Anonymous Member

    A droopy lid is one thing, not that oaty powers are ever going to fix that but if this asshats eye has actually been falling out of symmetry, the cause might possibly be something along the lines of an orbital tumor.

    He really ought to get that checked out.
  22. Sonichu Moderator

    what they don't mention about these, is that the eye was fixed for about 5 mins. then it went back to the untreated way it was before.

    Or that the only rental car available was the junk heap jalopy from the 70's
  23. Anonymous Member

    A car rental agency has a car to rent and it's a fucking miracle!
    • Funny Funny x 1
  24. RightOn Member

    I temporarily lost my keys today and then I found them! WIN!
    hip hip hooray!
    I guess after reading all this great Scientology stuff for all these years, it must have rubbed off on me!
    And it didn't cost me anything!
    • Funny Funny x 1
  25. McLOVIN_1982 Member

    I noticed I was very hungry today. I ate a sandwich and my hunger went away! Wow!
    • Funny Funny x 2
  26. incog712 Member

    Just imagine the wins that our OSA monitors could stack up if only they too were able to apply sammich tech.
    • Funny Funny x 2
  27. McLOVIN_1982 Member

    The oatee is strong in the sammich :)
  28. another123 Member

    • Funny Funny x 2
  29. Today the elevator opened for me without me pushing the button for it. Woo!
    • Funny Funny x 1
  30. DeathHamster Member

  31. THIS! All of this! Power tripping asshat! Pimp-slapped by a midget! Pretending he's being victimized by the system he helped turbocharge, because some douchebags show up at his house with tshirts and cameras! Thisthisthis!!!
  32. Anonymous Member

    We should make our own. Just for laughs.
  33. Anonymous Member

    I think they eat beans or something...
  34. Anonymous Member

    Never gets old.
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1

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