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Ye Olde Independent Chanologist #1

Discussion in 'Scientology and Anonymous' started by amaX, Sep 30, 2012.

  1. amaX Member

    amaX Public Announcement
    Monday, 1 October 2012 I have no idea how to figure out military time. Fuck it.
    Dear /b/ and fellow Chanologists, sue and the mods,

    None of you have noticed that I haven’t been too active or visible at BS meetings, FU Ambassador activities (I have been an FU Ambassador since 400BC), Anti Events, Idle Borg fund raising meetings, Idle Borg openings, etc. for <9000 months. But you have seen me at Flag quite regularly.

    I don't know why I'm writing this because none of you give a damn. And, the truth is, I don't give a damn myself. I have pondered why this is and have concluded that I've been a hobo and a hermit in all of my past lives and I embrace doing the nothingnesses. I’ve splarticated this to Turd Terms at Flag, A to the SS, Flag BAWWW, to my IFH (Imaginary Friend Herbie) and even to strangers in the Publix Deli (that I must have the Boarshead corned beef and not that crappy off-brand. I've had that crappy off-brand corned beef and there's too much fat. I've written to the deli manager to stop carrying that shit. Still, they continue to sell sub-par meats. (I have obviously not mastered parentheses. } Yes, I have eaten many reubens in my day and even though I embrace my Irish heritage I still prefer a shrimp po'boy.)]]] .

    There just seemed to be these nagging considerations of outpoints that would not as-is, GTFO. As of this date, my Ethics File with God is very empty with the exception of many dozens of Commendations as a Chanologist in good standing for 4+years, Power Rangers action figures and Head Terminator in the DUMBASS Sector for the past 2 years. I’m not saying here that I am some perfect little angel, but those of you who know me can say it for me. Fuck it. I have to do everything so I'll do this, too. You know that I am pretty much a perfect fat angel and have supplied cake and pizza and water to fellow Chanologists and staunchly defended us against LMT listees for what feels like godamned 1000 years, but is in actuality only 4+ years.

    Why am I bugging the shit out of you?

    "We of the Chanologists believe … that all men (no chicks on the net) should get their knowledge for FREE on the net, we're Anonymous and Legion, we don't forgive and we don't forget. Expect us---if we can catch a ride! ~Marblecaek, The Fun Times

    Hung-up at Doubt. "But if he's got the DTS, he can't ride with us because I'll be stuck cleaning puke out of the Welfare Truck again. When a Chanologist is faced with withdrawal... The first thing they should do is go lie down and stop trying to bum a fucking ride to a raid. TRUFAX.

    "TRUFAX is always TRUE and there can be no doubt about a TRUFAX statement...disbelief of a TRUFAX statement will lead to shunning and crying alone on the far side of the City Hall fountain." --I watched an HBO special about NASCAR. PLD CAPTAIN'S LOG: STARDATE 9865.453 GET YER ETHICS IN: LIQUOR'S QUICKER.

    Did I have "makuna matata" was I in a "Disney nightmare"?
    I never really think about anything. I am constantly in a state of indecision and silent protest constantly all the time everyday even right now. And I've also had some MAJOR and MINOR and MEDIOCRE considerations to deal with and I just said, "Fuck it. I'm going to the beach!"


    I am trained to explain everyone of these to you: Miami Beach BOAC, RENO 911, NYPD Blue, USA!USA!USA!, B.O., S.O.B., ER, FTD, HBO, ATF, EPA, P.O.V., POS, NO U, GTFO, DIAF. Cultees aren't the only assholes who know about acronyms!

    “Personal integrity is knowing what I know and only believing what I know– what I am is what I am...Are you what you are or what? What I am is what I am...Are you what you are or what?" ~Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians

    There is a tag line message in Cult of Scientology's Promo that states: “think for yourself.” I personally think that's a crock of shit! Have you EVER talked to a Scientologist? I don't know one of them that is allowed to "think for yourself." They're worse than the godamned BORG because they're real. Assimilate or DIE! The Borg used to scare the hell out of me. Did it scare y'all, too? HATED the Borg!

    I was going to re-write the latest poor bastard's declaration of still blindly following LRH's bullshit without giving Davey the money, but it's too long and boring and we've read it over 1,900 times now.

    Just once, it would be nice if one of them would say, "I know it's batshit insanity, but I've already spent 80 trillion dollars to go up the bridge for the last 32 years and I can't just say, 'Fuck it!' right now!"

    So, I'm still Ye Olde Independent Chanologist. Nothing changes around this dump. Chanologists are the Rodney Dangerfield's of the net: we don't get no respect.

    Alright. I've started the damned list. The rest of you add yourselves.

    AND I BETTER NOT SEE YOUR LAZY ASSES MAKE RO DO ALL THE WORK!

    This is for Six: DIET COKE.
    • Funny Funny x 13
    • Winner Winner x 10
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Anonymous Member

    can I try some of your meds?
    • Like Like x 1
  3. amaX Member

    PM me. ;)
  4. AnonMishka Member

    I understood 88.7645% of it & that terrifies me!
    • Funny Funny x 5
  5. amaX Member

    We may need psych drugs.
  6. Anonymous Member

    Church of Anonymous International
    LULZ CONDITIONS ORDER 8109 --------------------------------------------------------- 1 October 9001

    ALL CELLS
    ALL MARCAB AGENTS
    AMAX

    © 9001 Church of Anonymous International All Rights Reserved. We will sue your ass off if you ever tell anyone anything about this document, especially Barbara Streisand. We hear she is good at spreading sekrit information so you'd better not tell her. Oh screw it who are we kidding, we know you'll probably post this on the interweb to make us look bad, but we don't care.

    • Funny Funny x 6
  7. Anonymous Member

    Church of Anonymous International
    LULZ CONDITIONS ORDER 8109 --------------------------------------------------------- 1 October 9001

    ALL CELLS
    ALL MARCAB AGENTS
    AMAX


    amaX was given every opportunity to conform to the strict requirements of generating LULZ. However she descended into faggotry and trolling and refused to follow officially prescribed standard LULZ procedures.

    amaX found herself unpopular with all faggots including the fagfags and moralfags and lulzfags. She got into conflicts with Anonymous posters and refused to follow instructions to back off. She tried to convince others that she had sekrit knowledge of hidden LULZ which do not exist and are not officially sanctioned.

    She has been given chances to repent and return to the pure form of ethical LULZ but has stubbornly continued to follow her own ideas about unethical LULZ.

    She has a history of selfishly keeping LULZ to herself which she had a duty to share with others, and has also disseminated LULZ which had squirrel stuff on them.

    She has fucked a duck.

    Any and all official certifications of being Anonymous are hereby cancelled until she recognizes my Authoritah. She has no right to be Anonymous and is prohibited from posting as Anonymous.

    Should amaX come to her senses and recant, she is to do the steps Z to V as described in INTERNET RULE #672 DEC 76 987: ACTS OF UNLULZINESS TROLLING MORALFAGGOTRY AND GENERAL DICKTITUDE.

    Her only terminal is the Final Boss of the Internet.

    ------------------------------------------------------------ FINAL BOSS OF THE INTERNET
    ------------------------------------------------------------ for
    ------------------------------------------------------------ INTERNATIONAL CHURCH OF ANONYMOUS

    © 9001 Church of Anonymous International All Rights Reserved. We will sue your ass off if you ever tell anyone anything about this document, especially Barbara Streisand. We hear she is good at spreading sekrit information so you'd better not tell her. Oh screw it who are we kidding, we know you'll probably post this on the interweb to make us look bad, but we don't care.

    • Funny Funny x 14
    • Winner Winner x 7
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Trufax. About time.
    • Winner Winner x 2
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  9. AnonMishka Member

    "my authoritah" lol
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. Anonymous Member

    I don't recommend trying Amitriptyline Hydrochloride. I certainly didn't like it.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. Anonymous Member

    In light of the recent LULZ-break and outrageous fagotry, we will in no way try to distract you with this random cat. Because we would never do such a thang. Because we are the moralest duds on the Internet. Just watch it for teh greater LULZ, OK?

    Teh cat
    Teh caat
    Teh caaaaaaaaaat



    © 9001 Church of Anonymous International All Rights Reserved. We will sue your ass off if you ever tell anyone anything about this document, especially Barbara Streisand. We hear she is good at spreading sekrit information so you'd better not tell her. Oh screw it who are we kidding, we know you'll probably post this on the interweb to make us look bad, but we don't care.
    • Funny Funny x 2
  12. Anonymous Member

    I have no idea what OP said, but I like it
    • Like Like x 3
    • Funny Funny x 1
  13. Ron B DED Member

    It's actually pretty damn funny.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  14. RightOn Member

    lol oh AMA you really out did yourself this time.
    Another list? AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
    NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
    /hissy fit

    seriously.... cute idea

    carry on
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  15. Ron B DED Member

    No worries, Six will shoot it down somehow with wry commentary, then Xander will reply with humorous content, Six will get jealous and moist about Xander and deny with off topic stuff, and AMA will come out a winner. Again.

    THINK OF THE SEA ORG KIDS
    • Funny Funny x 3
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  16. Anonymous Member

    LSD worx und it helps people.
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  17. Anonymous Member

    tried that decades ago. repeatedly. debatable.
    • Funny Funny x 2
  18. wolfbane Member

    ITT the lulz takes a terrifying turn for the worst.

    Who knew! I thought we had already hit our all-time low long ago.

    (ducks)
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. SOJOA Member

    This is exactly why we fight against the Church of Scientology and believe in the use of pharma meds for individuals who need them.
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  20. YouSeeNothing Member

    I like cheese.

    I am an independent chanologist.

    Ama, your knowingness is enlightening. You are bright and shiny.
    • Funny Funny x 7
    • Like Like x 2
  21. Anonymous Member

    I hereby put all of you under a non-non-enturbulation order.
    • Like Like x 1
  22. Anonymous Member

    I would like the golden rod now plz.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  23. Anonymous Member

    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  24. AussieCase Member

    Yeah it's woo hoo

  25. Anonymous Member

    Sorry I don't understand (Japanese?). Can we have subtitles for this please?
  26. Anonymous Member

  27. anonymous612 Member

    Nah, I'm good.
  28. Is it out ethics for 'corporate' chanologists go after the 'independent' chanologists who squirrel the chanology tech?
  29. Anonymous Member

    WTF? Amax won't you miss your Big Pharma cheques?
  30. amaX Member

    Bob in accounting absconded with the Big Pharma money years ago.
    • Funny Funny x 2
  31. anonymous612 Member

    **to Mexico.
  32. Anonymous Member

    just couldn't resist, could you
  33. Sautez Member

    Aahahahahaha {hiccup} Ahahahahaha

    Carry-on, ;)
  34. blownforgood Member

    posting in epic thread
    • Funny Funny x 2
  35. Anonymous Member

    ask Me anything Xenu
  36. Anonymous Member

    I dunno. Getting tried for assault on a lying liar who lies might take the edge off the lulz for me.
  37. anonymous612 Member

    thread needs more accusations that the COB is spending religious donations on hookers and blow.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  38. Ron B DED Member

    ..... ^
    < OSA >
    ..... v
    • Funny Funny x 2
  39. Random guy Member

    Heathens, heathens the lot of you! I'ma Sue-Orthodox Chanologist, and will defend standard LULZ™ to my death! Only lame jokes are acceptable! Only Longcat is long! Agent Pubeit wasn't funny at all and need to rot some more in jail!
  40. Anonymous Member

    Don't make me sic JohnnyRUClear on your ass.

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